Z Blog: Having a baby? So what?
Who cares if I’m having my first child in a few weeks?
My wife, obviously ” she’s been doing most of the work. And the baby’s grandparents ” who have already started buying baby things and scheduling visits. Then there’s me: After nine months of my wife getting all the action ” the kicking, the back aches and sleeplessness and congestion and heartburn, the hunger and haywire emotions ” I want in on the child-rearing.
But why should any of you care? It’s not like my having a child is revolutionary ” in fact, regardless of how drastically it will upend my life, it’s quite mundane. I mean, there seem to be babies everywhere you look in this valley.
Still, having to write a few columns each week, it’s extremely difficult not to write about a looming, gigantic, life-affirming event that occupies not only my every waking thought, but my dreams and hallucinations as well.
It’s almost impossible not be fascinated ” and therefore, impossible not to tell you ” that I bought the child his or her first football this weekend. It’s almost impossible not to tell you that the football has a rattle stuffed inside it, and that I’ve been sneaking into the nursery to play with it.
It’s almost impossible not to share with you my musing on the fact that among the cuddly toys for sale at the Babies ‘R’ Us Superstore in Lakewood were only gender-specific sporting equipment (mainly footballs and tiny baseball gloves) and cutesy animals (mainly unicorns and bunnies).
Why no stuffed musical instruments or microscopes or real estate brochures to get the infant started thinking about a career?
But, really, why should any of you care ” no matter how much I feel I have to let you know we want to name the child Maisie if it’s a girl and Huck if it’s a boy?
I guess it’s a columnist’s job to be self-obsessed, and to be convinced that, because we’re neither afraid to be self-obsessed nor afraid to navel-gaze in public ” and do it at length ” we have some wry and unique insight on the events that shape our lives and yours.
So I’ll try to spare you reflections on diaper-changing and car-seat installing and sleep deprivation, but forgive me if I gush ” it is my first child, after all, and it is amazing.