Armijo: Learn to love better
Be sure that you read the title correctly, “Learn to love better,” not “Learn to be a better lover” as some may have initially thought. However, I will address the latter for those who were reading from that particular state of mind. The short answer to better your love life is to find a willing and compatible partner with whom you can share your likes and dislikes and be sure to listen to and respect theirs as well. Now back to learning to love better.
What does it mean to love better? It means to love without conditions in place. It means to love wholeheartedly without worry or concern for ourselves to be hurt. Learning to love better means to always consider others as we move about our day. Loving better allows our relationships to be more fulfilling, our lives to be more exciting, and our level of happiness to be off the charts.
We must understand that love is not currency. Love is a gift that we are all able to share, but unfortunately, not all will receive. However, some people treat love as a transaction. They will “love” their children, spouse or friends only when it benefits them or when these people do something to please them. This is not real love, this is manipulation.
Love is pure and beautiful. It is also plentiful and the more you share with others, the more you will receive in turn. There are many people who try to love but they forget one of the most important aspects of it — they must first love themselves.
So many people have a desire to help others and share love, but if they do not have a healthy love for themselves, then they will be severely limited in their success. Love for oneself is a precursor to being better at loving others. We cannot truly express our love for others if we do not fully love ourselves.
Love for others does not just exist in a romantic sense. Love can be and should be shared with all. I meet people daily that bring a smile to my face and we share a different kind of love. It is a love of appreciation for each other — for each other’s company, conversation and common interests. This type of love is just as beneficial as any other type of love.
Love, like anything else in this universe, is energy. In fact, love is one of the highest forms of energy. In the Christian religion, it is stated that God is love. In religion, God, Allah, Yeshua, etc. are the highest beings in our plane of existence. They are described as pure light and love. This means the more we can truly express our love toward others, the closer we become to our purest selves.
Love is displayed to others through action, communication and emotion. Love through action takes place with something as simple as doing a favor for someone. Communicating love can be done verbally or non-verbally. Emotion can also convey the message of love without the need for action or communication.
Real, true love does not give in to fear or anger and does not seek retribution against those who have harmed us. Love is difficult for many because it requires forgiveness, empathy and an open mind. When we are hurt by others, we want to see those who hurt us in pain as well — this is not real love.
We must understand that love is the only thing that can lift us up in times of despair. Love is healing for our minds, body and spirits. Love is an expression of truth, therefore when one is in a true state of lovingness, they will not buy into messaging that does not align with their loving state.
Love does not see skin color. Love does not value education or financial well-being. Love is not to be given miserly. Love is abundant. Love is powerful energy we should be sharing with each and every person we meet, especially the person who cut us off in traffic.
The UT Health at the University of Texas at Austin has published the following benefits of love:
- Love increases life expectancy
- Love maintains a healthy heart
- Love reduces depression
- Love lowers blood pressure
- Love decreases anxiety and reduces stress levels
- Love eases or decreases acute or chronic pain
- Love is beneficial to the biome of our gut
- Love improves our sleep
If these are not enough of reasons to begin living through love, then I do not know what is. There will be some out there who read this and think it is all hodgepodge and it will never work for them, and they will be right. There will be others who read this and decide that living their lives through love will improve their lives, and they will be right as well. We all have the ability to choose what life we want. I choose to live mine from love. How about you?
Chad Armijo lives in Edwards and is the founder of www.chadarmijocoaching.com, Elev8te SEO, and creator of the Mind Muscle Mastery program. He holds two masters degrees from Colorado State University in Business Management and Adult Teaching. In addition, he is a Master Certified NLP Life/Business Success Coach and Certified Ericksonian Hypnotherapist as well as a Pilates instructor. Find him on Facebook (@lifecoachingvail) or Instagram (@carmijo12) or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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