Carnes: Apathy means we all lose | VailDaily.com

Carnes: Apathy means we all lose

“Which Democrat are you voting for?”

Oh please, not this nonsense again. I’ve told you time and time again I will never vote for a Democrat or a Republican, as I will always vote the individual, never the party.

“C’mon, it’s a big day in Iowa. I understand you can’t vote in their caucus, but if you could, who would you choose?”

All right, I’ll play your pointless game, but only if you stop asking stupid questions.

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“Deal. What do you think about Joe Biden?”

Too old, and far too much family baggage to even consider.

“Bernie Sanders.”

Too old, way too far left, and I enjoy Larry David impersonating him more than the man himself. And to be clear, calling something “democratic socialism” is the ultimate polishing of turd lipstick on a pig.

“Sounds like you have a serious case of ageism, along with some serious metaphor mixing.”

Yeah, but even you understand what I mean. And ageism is not really a thing, I simply think they’re both passed their prime as leaders.

“Whatever, how about Elizabeth Warren?”

Too much like my grandmother; focusing way too hard on emotional appeals that have no actual teeth as policy.

“Pete Buttigieg or Andrew Yang.”

I actually like Buttigieg, with his ‘above the fray’ style of discussion, but sadly a gay man, even a gay veteran, doesn’t stand a chance in this fickle climate of white elitist my-god-can-beat-up-your-god paranoia. And Yang’s absurd promises remind me too much of Herman Cain’s “999” babble.

“Tom Steyer.”

Who?

“That’s fair. Amy Klobuchar or Tulsi Gabbard?”

Amy will drop out soon enough, and all Tulsi cares about is defeating a Clinton, which means she is so far out of the loop she might as well be on an island.

“Okay, smartass, how about Michael Bloomberg?”

Potential, and at this point, although I can’t see myself voting for him, he appears to be the de facto primary winner this July, but Super Tuesday on March 3 will be the real test regardless of what happens this week in Iowa.

“So you refuse to commit to anyone?”

Your comprehension skills are only rivaled by a handful of Vail Daily letter writers. Listen, in a perfect world, I would personally love to see a real Republican grow a pair and challenge the insecure child currently holding the top position.

“You would vote Republican?”

Damn, man, is English your second language? Listen, I would happily vote for an individual who happened to be a member of the GOP if that person was committed to returning dignity, honesty, respect and class to the office of the president, without merely appealing to the cult of simple minds.

“I don’t think you’re helping your case here …”

Hey, you really need to work on your questions, and besides, no matter who wins Iowa’s caucus, defeating IMPOTUS cannot, and must not, be the defining objective of any candidate, regardless of party.

“IMPOTUS?”

Impeached President of the United States.

“Are you saying, well, it sounds like you’re saying impotent.”

There, now you’re getting the hang of it.


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