Carnes: Boebert needs to step up her game
At this stage, if new Congressional House member for Colorado District 3, Lauren Boebert, still entertains hope of winning the title of “Most Appallingly Deranged Congressperson of Washington,” she had better brush up on her conspiracy theories to even come close to topping Georgia’s newest House member, Marjorie Taylor Greene.
This Georgia Peach knows how to compete.
A perfect example involves Greene’s personal savior, who right now is saying, and I paraphrase, “I’m no longer an elected official, I am now a private citizen, so you can’t punish me for what I said while I was an elected official.”
Greene turns right around and says, “I’m no longer a private citizen, I am now an elected official, so you can’t punish me for what I said while I was a private citizen.
That’s some top-level hypocrisy right there, folks — real top-of-the-line delusional fantasy.
Oh, it’s on.
There are dozens of congressional committees and sub-committees, and being appointed is an honor usually reserved for those most deserving, and freshmen members (and freshwomen) of Congress are often appointed at the very beginning of their terms to see how they will respond as they begin to learn the confusing twists and turns of how a federal government actually works, or at least is supposed to work.
Greene was immediately appointed to the Education and Labor Committee and the Federal Budget Committee, but the whole Satanic baby-eating liberals, Jewish space lasers and harassing Parkland shooting survivors showed that perhaps she was not the level-headed, open-minded representative they thought.
Why they thought this confounds me.
Anyway, this is Boebert’s chance to overtake her new nemesis for the lead. She could make sure the cameras are on and then wave her ever-present pistol at Columbine or Aurora movie theater shooting survivors or at least family members of those killed.
Think of the points she could score.
And if anyone deserves to be on the Education and Labor Committee, it is Boebert, as she dropped out of high school to have her first of four babies, but just within the last year completed her GED to finally get that diploma, proving perseverance is one of her strong suits, or something like that.
But alas, in spite of, or perhaps because of (who actually knows) her lengthy arrest record and flagrant attempts to skirt the law, she has now been appointed to the Natural Resources and Federal Budget committees instead.
I suppose her foreclosure and eviction experience will help with the federal budget, and apparently her naturally-resourced pork sliders served by her gun-wielding staff are to die for.
Admittedly, the common sense rules of decency apparently do not apply to either of them, so I have no idea who will eventually take home the title for this 117th U.S. Congress.
But whoever wins, America loses.
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.