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Carnes: Destitute Dick’s election picks

One week from today the world as we know it will change forever, the resulting paradigm shift so drastic future historians will spend entire careers debating its lasting impact on mankind.

Or not.

Next Tuesday’s election results will, in all likelihood, have as much impact on the average Happy Valleyite as Kanye West losing another sponsor or Aspen making yet another desperate claim about skiing dominance.



Either way, please understand that what follows is not necessarily how I wish for things to turn out, but rather how I expect them to based upon an infinite number of factors, including emails, social media posts, bar conversations, observations from those thinking “their side” might lose and, unless a stripper is attached, polls have no relevance whatsoever. They are absolutely, in no way, shape or form, endorsements in either direction, except where it’s obvious.

Hope that’s clear enough.

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Sen. Michael Bennet, Rep. Joe Neguse and Gov. Jared Polis will keep their seats, along with Attorney General Phil Weiser. Dylan Roberts, currently the representative for House District 26, will win the seat for Senate District 8.

Jena Griswold will lose her secretary of state seat to Pam Anderson, and Savannah Wolfson will edge out Meghan Lukens for the House District 26 seat.

Sheriff James van Beek will continue to sleep well at night, along with County Commissioner Jeanne McQueeney.

Please do not misinterpret the previous sentence.

Single-issue candidates rarely win, so I expect incumbents, former members, and Ruth Stanley to run the table in Avon.

I always vote “no” on all judicial retention questions, as nobody knows them except lawyers and those forced to face them, but a rotating platform of judges is the closest we’ll ever get to term limits.

Proposition 121 wants to reduce the state income tax. While the amount (0.15%) is akin to adding half an inch of snowfall to our annual total, it’s better than nothing. My guess is it will pass.

Proposition 122 wants to legalize magic mushrooms (psilocybin) as a natural medicine. Being legal in a few states and even in Denver, my guess is it will still fail, but probably pass in a few short years.

Proposition 123 wants to dedicate a slice of the state income tax pie (which will be slightly smaller if Prop 121 passes) for affordable housing programs. This redistributes the aforementioned half-inch of snowfall equally between Vail, Beaver Creek, Bachelor Gulch and Arrowhead, thus reinforcing the notion that government should stay out of the housing business.

My guess is it will pass, but shouldn’t.

Propositions 124, 125 and 126 want to, respectively, allow the big boys (Total Wine & More and Applejack) to expand, allow grocery stores to sell wine, and businesses like Grubhub, Uber Eats and DoorDash to deliver alcohol, all to the detriment of local liquor stores.

My guess is all three will pass, but shouldn’t.

The formation of an Eagle Valley Regional Transportation Authority is a benefit to commuting locals that already have a hard enough time just trying to pay rent.

This is a tax increase, so my guess is it will fail, but shouldn’t.

And finally, an election denier voting for an election denier will only deny an election if they lose, and those wishing to make it harder to vote are simply afraid of losing.

Those wishing to make it easier to vote are simply afraid of not winning, while both are preparing to challenge the results should they lose.

At least the TV commercials will end.

Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.


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