Carnes: Ding dong, the ISIS witch is dead |

Carnes: Ding dong, the ISIS witch is dead

Congratulations to the United States military for ridding the planet of yet another religious nutcase who believed his particular deity was the only one out of thousands who actually exists.

It’s almost as if religious types believe all deities are make believe, except theirs of course.

The five-month joint intelligence operation with our used-to-be-buddies the Kurds to kill Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was a rousing success last weekend, as the ISIS leader proved the validity of his pretend protective deity by detonating a suicide vest in a tunnel while being pursued by American troops.

I suppose the three children that perished alongside him that we refer to as “collateral damage” were all part of his deity’s plan.

Supernatural plans are a funny thing. When they work in a positive fashion, the deity is praised as all-knowing and all-powerful, yet if negative, such as three innocent children blown to bits or a 2-year-old child developing incurable cancer, said deity is simply being “mysterious.”

It does indeed make one wonder. 

Speaking of hunting for witches though, the creepy circle of witch wagons surrounding the president appears to be getting smaller and smaller as more and more individuals put country over party by daring to step across the subpoena line to testify for the House impeachment inquiry.

Even though one of the president’s lawyers claimed his boss could not be indicted for shooting someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and his former acting attorney general claimed, “Abuse of power is not a crime,” it appears this impeachment thing might actually happen.

No matter the outcome, such verbal nonsense certainly explains why the whistleblowers wish to remain anonymous.

Claiming catastrophic recession and riots if impeached, now we are subjected to every person who dares to say anything negative suddenly being declared a “Never Trumper” and “Human scum.” 

All of this in spite of the fact the man just handed the Middle East to Putin, is performing the “Mulvaney Walk” with U.S. troops in Syria and doesn’t seem to understand that an anagram of “quid pro quo” spells T-R-E-A-S-O-N.

Little by little, GOP members of Congress are turning away from him, yet the remaining GOP members have a strategy of throwing all the crap they can muster against the wall in hopes that something — anything — sticks, even thinking storming the castle is appropriate in spite of other Republicans already sitting in the castle.

Meanwhile, the Mad King is obsessed with canceling newspaper subscriptions, a “phony emolument clause” (yes, the one in the U.S. Constitution), investigating the investigators for investigating and building a wall here in Colorado to keep out the evil New Mexicans (at least I think that’s what he meant).

Anyway, of course ISIS is no more dead than al-Qaida after Osama bin Laden’s demise (see: 12,000 US troops currently in Afghanistan), and like all evil leaders in the Middle East, within 24 hours ISIS had a new leader secured.

Out of the thousands to choose from, I wonder which deity he will follow.

Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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