Carnes: Drinking while wandering around |

Carnes: Drinking while wandering around

While so many other states across this great nation are obsessed with legislating limits on legal protests, creating hurdles for voters they don’t like and allowing immunity to drivers that run over protesters (nothing says limited government more than pre-emptive governing), it’s good to know our beautiful state of Colorado is focused on what’s really important – drinking while wandering around town.

And at the moment it’s all perfectly legal – but only until July 1.

Not to give myself too much credit (he humbly types), but a scant six weeks ago on this very page I referenced in a column about COVID-19 silver linings, that the Town of Vail’s brilliant move this past winter to allow outside bars and seating at the top of Bridge Street and elsewhere in town, creating a celebratory atmosphere that provided guests and locals alike with a festive feeling every afternoon, was a tremendous step forward.

I concluded by saying what a shame it would be if the town took it away.

Well, lo and behold, I was admittedly wrong on a few points (surprise!), the main one being the town had little to do with it in the first place, as it was all possible thanks to Gov. Jared Polis signing an executive order last year providing the opportunities to occur (so for the record, expecting and calling me a journalist is akin to calling domestic terrorists, like those involved in the Jan. 6 insurrection, a militia).

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If anything, I was attempting to give Mayor Bones and the rest of the council some credit, but what the hell, it was still a positive move for the town to help combat the pandemic.

Anyway, the executive order included the establishment of “consumption zones,” allowing people (locals too!) to buy a drink and “wander around” within the zone.

Granted, the state certainly could have come up with a better name than “consumption zones.”

How about Drinking Districts, Party Parks, Enjoyment Enclaves, Alcohol Arenas, Refreshment Regions or, for the judgmental types, Booze Barriers or Sin Sections?

Anything is better than sounding like a place for tuberculosis patients to hang out.

So at the moment, it’s up to a bipartisan bill (imagine that!) to extend the executive order for another five years of being able to legally wander around, drink in hand, within a poorly named zone.

Score a big ol’ checkmark for our very own representative, Dylan Roberts, as he is one of the four co-sponsors (two each from the Red Team and the Blue Team).

By the time you read this, House Bill 21-1027, which has already passed through all three committee hearings, will have been debated on the floor of the Colorado House of Representatives.

Let’s just hope the end result is one we can all live – and drink – with, so here’s to years of happy wandering within approved zones of consumption, or whatever you want to call them.

And to think, some actually believe the perpetuated hype that us ski resort types live in a bubble.

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