Carnes: In 20th Thanksgiving column, Vail local still thankful (column) | VailDaily.com

Carnes: In 20th Thanksgiving column, Vail local still thankful (column)

For my 20th annual Thanksgiving column, the challenge is to not point out this is the time of year when employers want to work more and employees want to work less, local forecasters miraculously predict snow six days out of every seven and everyone is suddenly best friends with the local evil empire. So I won’t.

Turkey Day is basically “Diet Christmas,” as we pretty much (over) eat the same high-fat artery-clogging crap, only this week it comes without the over-priced gifts and solid week of hangovers.

It is an opportunity to give thanks for circumstances that did or did not happen during our last trip around the sun, and to rekindle family relationships, albeit briefly.

Sure, some will want to thank one pretend omnipotent thingamajig or another, and while they’re free to do so, I prefer reality, as it allows me to find a little bit more to be thankful for each year, and at one year shy of turning three years older than Vail, 2018 is no different.

I, Richard Carnes, am thankful:

I have been out of the retail business for two decades and my wife — for whatever bizarre reason — still enjoys working for the aforementioned empire.

For a 19-year-old college student who asks, “Dad, why are there so many stupid people in the world?”

Eagle County and the entire state of Colorado is purple.

I don’t live anyplace else, especially within the borders of Florida.

For living life to the fullest for the benefit of my family first, my self second, my friends third and the ability to recognize anyone who believes that particular order should be switched must be considering a run for office.

Now that the Democrats have taken over the House, Republicans will finally pretend to start caring about debt and deficits again.

Fox News is on the correct side of the First Amendment.

There are more than two sides to each political coin.

Those bigly French raindrops never prevent real leaders from behaving like they should, nor do they point blame before the flames stop burning or that the raking of leaves will prevent forest fires.

Already knowing that, from the “standpoint of water,” hurricanes are wet and islands are “surrounded by a whole lot of water.”

Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh and I agree on something.

I like beer.

For possessing the financial fortitude to not burn my Nikes like a toddler over an ad campaign.

I get to enjoy yet another NFL season without having to make the gut-wrenching choice of which side to root for in a Cowboys vs. Broncos Super Bowl.

Farts still make me laugh. Every. Single. Time.

The only “white” we promote around here has absolutely nothing to do with bigotry.

My favorite time of the year begins this week.

I give thanks to everyone for everything. Those who love me, hate me, ignore me or just generally put up with me all combine to fill my personal basket of thanks. For without each and every one of you the world would not be the exact place that it is.

And finally, at age 59, I am thankful for three ambitious children, one beautiful and very patient wife, one incredible daughter-in-law, real friends (you know who you are), fake acquaintances (ditto), beer, golf, skiing and that I get to enjoy them all in Happy Valley.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.