Carnes: Patience is quite the virtue |

Carnes: Patience is quite the virtue

It is over. The long agonizing wait has finally come to a fitting conclusion.

An ending many of us hoped for, but given history’s unfairness to our collective sensibilities of late we were jaded enough to not really expect a positive outcome.

Yet here we are, happy as 20-somethings waking up to a powder day on their one day off. One single day made all the difference in the world, and now the hills are alive with the sounds of accountability, our national nightmare is fading to black and we are awakening to a new day, a future full of endless possibilities.

But, let’s be honest, who would have believed last Friday that Gweneth Paltrow, the patron saint of vagina-smelling candles and all things GOOP, would have been found innocent? Well, most of us here in Happy Valley certainly wished for it, as the consequences of her being found guilty were almost too hard to even consider for our industry.

And to top Friday off, it was opening day for MLB (Major League Baseball). Yes, what a historic day it was. Don’t get me wrong though, I heard about that other thing involving the Florida hotel owner and former game show TV host, but to be perfectly honest that’s so “yesterday’s news,” it’s barely worth mentioning.

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I’m as interested in that as I am in consuming a giant mammoth meatball, which is to say I could really care less as the entire ordeal carries as much actual impact on America’s future as our snow totals for the next few weeks.

If this grand jury indictment for over thirty different charges doesn’t begin to fade the clown’s memories from our national consciousness, then the next three, much more serious legal issues, ending in indictments certainly will. Or at least we can hope.

Sure, there will be isolated pockets of violent extremists across the nation desperately vying for attention this week, and most likely a number of innocent people will unfortunately die as a direct or indirect result, but that’s the sad and pointless price we pay as a nation for allowing such narcissistic ineptitude into public office in the first place.

A few thousand will gather in New York City, but only a few hundred will actually be protesting, as the rest will be there to take pictures of the perp walk and to be able to say to their grandkids, “I was there when … “

My Happy Valley conservative friends (yes, I have a few, and while we read from the same book are rarely on the same page) will grumble but secretly be happy to get the grifter out of the political arena and begin searching for an actual worthy GOP contender.

My Happy Valley liberal friends (yes, I have a few, and while we read from the same book are rarely on the same page) will rejoice but secretly be worried about the possibility of having to compete against an actual worthy GOP contender.

So last Friday was indeed a day for the record books: The whitest trial on record ends, MLB begins, and the eventual death-by-a-thousand-cuts for a childish con man starts in NYC, leaving us with one major question.

Will he be tried as an adult?

Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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