Carnes: Person, woman, man, camera, TV
I said the above five words out loud to my computer, and lo and behold, Bertha (that’s her name, back off) typed them perfectly for my headline, and thus I feel confident my computer has aced the cognitive test for potential dementia.
We have had Rhodes Scholars and Harvard Law graduates as leaders in the past, yet current ImPotus can’t stop bragging about correctly identifying pictures of an elephant and sending best wishes to accused child sex traffickers.
These are really weird times.
Meanwhile, he insists upon using Portland as a photo opportunity for his re-election campaign, proving to his cult members that he is willing to use violence to suppress nonviolent demonstrators, providing both with the authoritarian ways they so desperately crave.
We have a Wall of Moms, Wall of Dads, and now a Wall of Vets standing their ground in Portland, but nothing seems to deter the robotic secret police Gestapo sent by ImPotus as he frantically wants to present himself as a strongman to all his little sycophant followers.
It is amazing to witness the deafening silence from the Second Amendment “enthusiasts” always clamoring about their right to form a militia to protect us when the government turns its guns towards its own citizens, which is exactly what’s happening now.
I wonder why that is?
Anyway, back here in our real Rocky Mountain world, I bet each of us can come up with five words to prove our very own mental stability.
School, kids, parents, teachers, 10:01pm beers.
Repeating these five have much more bearing on Happy Valley at the moment, as delaying the start of school for one week only delays the inevitable for the same length of time, which is to say no one can make up their mind either way.
Stopping beer sales after 10 p.m. to stop a virus makes as much sense as stopping skiers from going in the backcountry after Easter.
Rent, mortgage, credit card, payments, eviction.
These five are much easier to say than act upon, as the proverbial poop is in the pudding for those unemployed, or soon to be.
Football, color changes, first snowfall, Opening Day, ski.
Ah, now these five are mucho importante to most of us around here, as fall sports being in the air contributes almost as much as the other four. Whether it’s the Battle Mountain Huskies, the CU Buffs or the Broncos, we crave the opportunity to pay attention to something other than the virus and upcoming elections. And besides, I look forward to watching NFL games with a cardboard cutout of my wife on the couch.
The color changes are inevitable, as is the first snowfall, but it’s the last two that give me the most worry.
Will we have an opening ski day in November? Rumors are rampant both directions throughout the valley right now, but the answer will have a bigger impact around here than anything we’ve experienced due to the virus so far.
Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
I just wanted to say it one more time to prove the acuity of my IQ level, and besides, I have “like, a good memory, because I’m cognitively there.”
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.