Carnes: Questionable Christmas poetry |

Carnes: Questionable Christmas poetry

’Tis a few days before Christmas

And through most of Happy Valley,

Cheers can still be heard

Over the fall weather finale.

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Yet the world is a mess

And all seems in trouble,

But we’re safe and warm

In our Rocky Mountain bubble.

This week is so special

For the children of the world,

Though many lay in fear

Of a system coming unfurled.

The bizarre supply chain issue

Caused by demand around the nation,

Leaves billions of packages on ships

Obstinately awaiting their final destination.

A number of pretend journalists

Stay stuck talking in a box,

Continuing to push their biased agenda

Both CNN and FOX.

DC is full of idiots

Some even say it takes an entire village,

But it’s still an incredible insult

Attempting to claim executive privilege.

Justice will surely prevail

For those arguing self-protection,

As truth is finally revealed

From last January’s insurrection.

And it was about time

Though should have come sooner,

When plea’s to stop the anti-American attack

Finally came from Don Jr.

I feel sorry for the boys

Of Congresswoman Boebert,

For being used as weapon props

And their dad being a convicted pervert.

And we hang our heads in sadness

After watching the kangaroo courthouse,

Of the non-convicted murdering child

Known as the smiling Kyle Rittenhouse.

And millions are being lost

Causing some to now tip-toe,

As they frustratingly learn

The true value of Crypto.

We’ve spent yet another year

Dealing with COVID-19,

At least we weren’t locked up again

Under semi-forced quarantine.

There’s still a minority of those

Intent on spreading COVID,

Continuing to prove

You just can’t fix stupid.

But enough of this insanity

For there are so many reasons,

To chuck it all aside

Cuz’ it’s the Holiday Season!

Economy’s on the rise

Real estate’s still on fire,

Unemployment’s going back down

Now if only there were enough to hire.

It’s already been a weird winter

But we’re getting back to the basics,

Even at the movie theater

We have the return of “The Matrix.”

Yet local breweries are fewer

Some were not ready to retire,

As unfortunately we no longer enjoy

Both GRB and Bonfire.

While on the mountains to ski

We no longer must be masked,

But to visit a mountain restaurant

Proof of vaccination, you will be asked.

Still, Christmas in Vail

Is there no finer place,

To relax from worries

With snow in your face?

Town trees are wrapped

In a tax-funded glow,

To celebrate the spirit

Of Holidaze and snow.

The tourists have come

And sleeping in beds,

While dreams of powder days

Dance in their heads.

Presents surround trees

Some real, some fake,

As little ones count sheep

Failing to stay awake.

The kids are euphoric

Running in circles and laughing,

While merchants are worried

About holiday staffing.

Yes, we love the mountains

The pines all covered with snow,

And no amount of bad news

Can ruin our holiday glow.

So keep that in mind

When enjoying Christmas day,

For here in Happy Valley

Blue skies are never gray.

Though the world can be nasty

Full of evil and strife,

For us in the Vail Valley

It is indeed a Wonderful Life!

(Some will eat and drink

And make themselves sick,

But that is far better

Than more crappy Christmas poetry … by Dick.)

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