Carnes: Questionable Christmas poetry

’Tis a few days before Christmas

And through most of Happy Valley,

Cheers can still be heard

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Over the fall weather finale.

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Yet the world is a mess

And all seems in trouble,

But we’re safe and warm

In our Rocky Mountain bubble.

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This week is so special

For the children of the world,

Though many lay in fear

Of a system coming unfurled.

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The bizarre supply chain issue

Caused by demand around the nation,

Leaves billions of packages on ships

Obstinately awaiting their final destination.

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A number of pretend journalists

Stay stuck talking in a box,

Continuing to push their biased agenda

Both CNN and FOX.

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DC is full of idiots

Some even say it takes an entire village,

But it’s still an incredible insult

Attempting to claim executive privilege.

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Justice will surely prevail

For those arguing self-protection,

As truth is finally revealed

From last January’s insurrection.

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And it was about time

Though should have come sooner,

When plea’s to stop the anti-American attack

Finally came from Don Jr.

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I feel sorry for the boys

Of Congresswoman Boebert,

For being used as weapon props

And their dad being a convicted pervert.

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And we hang our heads in sadness

After watching the kangaroo courthouse,

Of the non-convicted murdering child

Known as the smiling Kyle Rittenhouse.

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And millions are being lost

Causing some to now tip-toe,

As they frustratingly learn

The true value of Crypto.

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We’ve spent yet another year

Dealing with COVID-19,

At least we weren’t locked up again

Under semi-forced quarantine.

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There’s still a minority of those

Intent on spreading COVID,

Continuing to prove

You just can’t fix stupid.

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But enough of this insanity

For there are so many reasons,

To chuck it all aside

Cuz’ it’s the Holiday Season!

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Economy’s on the rise

Real estate’s still on fire,

Unemployment’s going back down

Now if only there were enough to hire.

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It’s already been a weird winter

But we’re getting back to the basics,

Even at the movie theater

We have the return of “The Matrix.”

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Yet local breweries are fewer

Some were not ready to retire,

As unfortunately we no longer enjoy

Both GRB and Bonfire.

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While on the mountains to ski

We no longer must be masked,

But to visit a mountain restaurant

Proof of vaccination, you will be asked.

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Still, Christmas in Vail

Is there no finer place,

To relax from worries

With snow in your face?

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Town trees are wrapped

In a tax-funded glow,

To celebrate the spirit

Of Holidaze and snow.

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The tourists have come

And sleeping in beds,

While dreams of powder days

Dance in their heads.

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Presents surround trees

Some real, some fake,

As little ones count sheep

Failing to stay awake.

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The kids are euphoric

Running in circles and laughing,

While merchants are worried

About holiday staffing.

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Yes, we love the mountains

The pines all covered with snow,

And no amount of bad news

Can ruin our holiday glow.

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So keep that in mind

When enjoying Christmas day,

For here in Happy Valley

Blue skies are never gray.

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Though the world can be nasty

Full of evil and strife,

For us in the Vail Valley

It is indeed a Wonderful Life!

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(Some will eat and drink

And make themselves sick,

But that is far better

Than more crappy Christmas poetry … by Dick.)

Richard Carnes of Avon writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.