Carnes: SOS for the new Roaring ’20s | VailDaily.com

Carnes: SOS for the new Roaring ’20s

2019 certainly qualifies as a truly bizarre year, but the one ending today is really not that different from all the others we’ve endured.

The single biggest variation standing out to me is we’re already ending another decade, at least when referencing the human concept of using a calendar to organize ourselves in accordance with moon cycles and trips around the sun.

Ten years ago in 2009, we were just beginning to climb out of the worst recession in generations. The year 1999 brought our second of two Alpine World Ski Championships and the silly Y2K fiasco (plus my first of two vasectomies — true story). 1989 brought our first Alpine World Ski Championships and Beaver Creek beheading. In ‘79 I was a Texas college student, in ’69 I was a 10-year-old who still thought girls were worthy of surprising spider introductions and in 1959 I was in constant need of diaper changes.

Too many decades, so little time.

And even though we’re starting a brand new decade, I suspect a lot of the crap going on in the Twenty-Teens will still be crapping along just hunky-dory in the Twenty-Twenties.

Affordable housing for our local workforce will still be an issue and bighorn sheep will not. Those bad boys have been endangered since the first Utes arrived.

The Ginn\Gilman\Battle Mountain Resort area (take your pick) and 95% of the Lindholm\Traer Creek\Village at Avon area (take another pick) will still sit empty.

Both will still look pretty in the meantime.

The Berlaimont Estates proposal will in all likelihood remain just that — a proposal.

On the other hand, the Avon barn is no more, and I’m not aware of any upcoming aging structures in dire need of nonprofit-oriented destruction.
There’s also no more “Game of Thrones,” the Cowboys or Broncos can only dream of Super Bowls past, and our little beautiful valley will still miss Pepi, Treat family members and Mac McCain.

Outside of Happy Valley, our constant fear and distrust of each other dependent upon such superficial measurements as skin color, place of birth and political party will continue rolling down the paranoid highway.

Social media will continue to decentralize us as individuals while simultaneously appealing to more and more specifically introverted groups.

Tariffs will still be used as bargaining chips in trade wars we start and will be used as bargaining chips in stopping said trade wars.

The coal industry will continue to die, farm bankruptcies will continue to increase along with our faster-than-ever increasing national debt and Trump will say they are all doing better than ever, and all the little Trumpettes will still believe it.

Tesla’s Cybertruck will still be butt ugly.

Democrat presidential candidates will spend the next six months mercilessly attacking one another and then magically fall in lockstep behind whichever eventual failed primary candidate they’ll pretend to support until they probably lose in the Electoral College next November.

Term limits will not be enacted, Mexico will still not pay for a wall, health care will sidestep left from A to B (with B being right of A) and Trump will stay atop as the most prolific White House golfer of all time while tweeting to his cult followers that he’s too busy ruining the country (without the “I”) to waste time on social media.

Scandinavian climate activist, 17-year-old Greta Thunberg, will continue to be attacked by moronic adults, ISIS and the Taliban will still kill Americans soldiers and innocent American school children will continue to be slaughtered by students who feel they’ve been bullied.

The president of the United States will tell everyone he didn’t say the things he said today about not saying the things he said yesterday and then call the media the “enemy of the state” for showing the video of him saying those exact things. 

In other words, some things will never change.

Unless, of course, we wish for them to.


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