Carnes: Taking the good with the (befuddling) bad
“Hooray, Vail Resorts deleted the reservation system!”
Yes, most everyone is excited to see the virtual beast disappear.
“So no more reservations to get on the mountain means no more masks and we can finally start getting back to normal around here!”
Hold on there, cowboy.
“What? What d’ya mean?”
Unless riding in a gondola with people you don’t know, you no longer need a mask in a lift line —
… but you do need one anywhere you walk indoors on the mountain or any business owned by Vail Resorts.
Yes, seriously, and it’s their right as a private business, so I don’t have a problem with it. Their business, their rules.
“Yeah, I suppose, but it seems silly when the Denver Broncos can have 76,000 unmasked people in the stands with no social distancing whatsoever, even if they are 3-0 to start the season.”
Well then, you’re really not going to like this next part.
“What, Texans and the wealthy from south of the border don’t have to wear masks or some elitist crap like that?”
Worse. Not only do you have to wear your mask indoors on the mountain, but you have to show proof of vaccination to get in the door.
Especially Texans, but there’s a loophole for the wealthy ones, and pretty much for all the wealthy ones no matter where they come from.
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
Nope, proof of vaccination does not apply to fine dining locations on the mountain, like The 10th.
You keep using that word, and yes, I’m serious, as this is nothing to joke about.
“You mean to tell me if I want to eat an overpriced lunch at Mid-Vail I have to show proof of vaccination but if I walk next door because I want to eat a WAY overpriced lunch at The 10th, I don’t?”
You catch on quick, and no, you don’t have to prove anything to eat at The 10th other than an ability to pay.
“That just seems … wrong.”
Not only will employees have to deal with the mask mandate psychos, they will have to handle the unvaccinated twits declaring their constitutional freedoms on public lands are being suppressed along with whatever other nonsense they can create. However, on the plus side and since you’re vaccinated, there’s an online app called “MyColorado,” and in less time than it takes to walk from the Covered Bridge to Gondola One, you can have immediate access to your vaccine card right on your phone.
“What if I don’t have a phone?”
Then carry the paper version, but come on, it’s 2021, if you don’t have a phone then you probably can’t afford to be skiing, much less eating on the mountain.
“That’s economically insulting.”
Welcome to Vail.
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.