Carnes: Time to eat, drink and never forget
Good grief, for a while there I felt like it was never going to end, but finally, HOORAY, the previously unthinkable has happened!
Yep, a big ol’ shout out to all the local graduates, for thanks to them we can now move on to the “Big Blue Square” of allowed personal responsibility in Eagle County.
Just think of all the money saved by parents and other family members not having to foot any gargantuan restaurant bills or catering extravaganzas to celebrate the annual rites of passage of kids from kindergarten through college (not to mention all those overpriced graduation gifts).
But now, thank (insert deity-of-choice), we can finally move forward.
Sure, some think it was due to all this infection and death rate babble, but we know better, otherwise, why would Heir Polis have waited until almost the last friggin’ minute to grant Eagle County’s variance to open restaurants and bars beginning Memorial Day?
With barely 36 hours remaining, restaurants and bars had to have already thrown the dice and brought in staff, supplies and inventory all hinging on the hopes that Polis would allow them to open with the requested loosened restrictions.
If you don’t understand the financial implications of such a gamble, then (to misquote Joe Biden), “You ain’t a businessman, man!”
In other words, I would rather claim a cabal of parents convinced the state to prolong the restrictions until after graduation to save money than be forced to believe democratic governments can exert such overreaching control over the everyday lives of those that elected them to office.
Wait, are you instead wondering why I referred to the governor as “Heir Polis?”
To begin with, I just wanted to see if you’re paying attention, but in all honesty, it is because of the entertainment value of watching the foot-stomping meltdowns of one side and the righteous indignation of another as each claims their enemy is using Nazi tactics to achieve totalitarianism while accusing one another of fostering tyranny.
To misquote Inigo Montoya: “You people keep using those words. I’m afraid they do not mean what you think they mean.”
But I digress.
On the Front Range last weekend, social media was going nuts waiting for “The List” of 600+ restaurants that were daring to defy the state ban and open earlier than allowed.
For every comment of, “I’ll support them BECAUSE they opened early in defiance of tyranny!” there were half a dozen of, “I want to see the list so I NEVER support those recklessly opening early!”
So here we are, beginning our first full week of at least partial openings throughout Eagle County, paying specific attention to restaurants and bars and playing all sorts of mental games over a) should we leave the house, b) if yes, where should we go, c) will we enter if they insist we wear masks or, d) will we enter if they don’t?
So many questions, but hey, we have plenty of time right now — it’s not like we have any guests to serve around here yet.
By the way, I am sincere with compliments for graduates, for that’s one group I truly feel for through all this crap. Look at the bright side, I guarantee their “graduation” will be remembered far better than ours.
But none of us will ever forget the Spring of 2020.
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.