Carnes: Wondering all over the map
As I sat in my office Sunday, looking out across the vast smoke-filled Happy Valley, I found myself not only wondering if the afternoon buildup of heat would create enough wind to push the microscopic ash away, but if Texans would ever understand there is no such thing as a left-hand turn in a roundabout.
Nope, would be my guess.
With so much daily strife occurring across the planet, it’s frequently difficult to focus on a single subject, my mind instead choosing to wander from A to Z and back again, wondering about specific items such as the increasing threats from lethal hand sanitizers and how much a single $57 million home sale can screw up the bell curve.
Quite a bit, would be my guess.
We have the town of Vail putting $1 million tax dollars to help small businesses pay rent through November, offering to split rent three ways with the store owner and landlord, but of course that’s only if the landlord agrees to take a one-third cut in monthly rent.
I wonder if collecting two-thirds of rent to pay your own mortgage is better than no-thirds.
Yes, yes it is.
I wonder if locals know the “Eagle County Sweet Rants and Bitching” is by far the most entertaining group to follow on Facebook. It’s like the scene out of “South Park” where the principal says, “Show me on this doll where Eagle County hurt you.”
I wonder if the anti-mask, anti-government, pro-conspiracy crowd around here purposely burns a campfire wherever they damn well please in spite of the current Stage 1 fire restrictions, just to prove they cannot be controlled.
I wonder if those continuing to share such fascinating threads as “This meme was deleted by Facebook, hurry before they delete it again!” or “This doctor has a cure for covid, but big pharma keeps shutting him down!” realize that 99.9% are complete steer guano meant to further a false narrative.
I wonder if readers will understand I could put any percentage I choose in the above sentence and roughly the same number would be bobbing their heads up and down in agreement.
I wonder if those influenced by the ImPotus claim that Joe Biden would “hurt God” realize that freedom of religion is a constitutionally protected right provided in the First Amendment, thus he could have been referring to Buddha, Allah, Shiva, Osiris, or any of the other thousands of deities created in the mind of man over the last 10,000 years.
On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder why didn’t all the thoughts and prayers stop, or at least prevent, this virus in the first place?
Oh, that’s right, never mind.
I wonder if, since we are No. 1 in COVID-19 cases and deaths worldwide, we should now call it the Trump Virus, because, you know, giving credit where credit is due and all.
I wonder if Joe Biden ever considered simply choosing the best person for the job instead of limiting VP choices by gender and/or skin color.
I often wonder if there is actually a way to manipulate the space/time continuum so we could just cancel the rest of 2020 and jump straight into January of 2021.
No, I really don’t wonder about that one, as I suppose it is what it is.
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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