Carnes: ‘Do you know who I am?’

Can’t anyone help this poor woman? She doesn’t know who she is.

And so the seemingly never-ending saga of one of our very own Republican congressional members, the esteemed Lauren Boebert, and her perpetual search for relevance in a mountain of uneducated obscurity continues.

Such class, such wit, such … well, words fail even me from time to time.

I am shocked — shocked I tell you — that the twice-elected, once-divorced mother of four, Colorado representative in Washington D.C. is instead apparently representing Washington D.C. in Colorado, and her high school behavior inside Denver’s Buell Theatre for a performance of “Beetlejuice” last week is not a typical characteristic of her constant claims to be a voice of the people.

But then again, she didn’t finish high school.

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Hey, divorce has long been an excuse for plenty of us to perform certain regretful acts. Even I regret that my ex-wife didn’t have an affair earlier, otherwise, I could have met and fallen in love with my now wife of 26-plus years that much sooner.

And just because the 36-year-old grandmother was caught groping in public with an avowed Democrat and co-owner of an Aspen restaurant that staged “a Winter Wonderland Burlesque & Drag Show” does not necessarily mean she is an immature moral hypocrite claiming to be one thing on the public side of a door and proving to be the complete opposite when the door is closed.

Besides, who am I to judge?

And then we have Kristi Noem, the 51-year-old married mom of three and Republican South Dakota governor, known for her championing of family values, reportedly engaging in a years-long affair with married Corey Lewandowski, the longtime adviser and 2016 campaign manager for a Florida hotel owner and former TV reality show host.

Partisanship is not my angle, for a Democrat running for state delegate in Virginia, Susanna Gibson, is using her position as a nurse practitioner and mother of two to take a stance on abortion rights straight to the voters this November.

And she’s doing it by livestreaming video of her and Mr. Gibson performing sexual acts on the website Chaturbate.

Talk about going all out for your constituents.

But before you think this is critiquing only hypocritical female politicians precariously balanced on moral high grounds, realize that the male versions are just as guilty and definitely just as stupid.

More so in most cases.

JFK and Marilyn, Bill Clinton and Monica, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Andrew Cuomo, multiple times for the aforementioned Florida hotel owner and former reality TV show host just to name a few, male philandering political leaders consistently top the charts when it comes to inciting indiscreet indecencies.

Regardless of gender, we must stop pretending to hold elected officials to higher moral standards than we hold ourselves, otherwise, we become just as shallow and self-serving as them.

Yes, Boebert is elected trash in heels desperately attempting to abuse her current position while she still has it, but as Isaac Asimov wrote: “When stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent.”

And for those paying attention, that’s two weeks in a row with an Asimov quote.

Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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