Vail Daily column: A little mental spring cleaning |

Vail Daily column: A little mental spring cleaning

The mountain’s closed, the snow is melting, mud is forming and rental rates are falling, so there’s no better time than the present for opening the cranial windows to air out the synapse.

Doing so releases a full winter’s pressure, allowing room for the new birth of thoughts and ideas to spring forward.

Obsession was the word for this winter.

Not that it is a new buzzword or anything, but it certainly was used to describe the majority of our nation’s mental handicaps while the snow was flying.

For instance, the religious right’s sudden obsession with which public restroom Caitlyn Jenner can utilize, and of course their long-running obsession over a woman’s right to her own body.

North Carolina’s obsession with anything not white, or male, or apparently educated.

Paul Ryan’s obsession with saying “no” when his actions say “yes,” which reminds me of something else conservative, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Ted Cruz’s obsession with proudly stating, “I’m a Christian first, American second.” Imagine the exploding heads if a Jewish, Muslim or non-theist politician made a similar claim. Also his fixation on the new buzz phrase: Voterless victories.

GOP members’ obsession with not understanding the GOP is a private organization and can play by whatever rules they choose.

Democratic Party members’ obsession with not understanding the Democratic Party is a private organization and can play by whatever rules they choose.

The NBA’s obsession with a selfish, arrogant, condescending, self-absorbed alleged rapist named Kobe.

Yep, “alleged,” you betcha.

But it wasn’t all about being obsessed, as we also endured the usual amount of steer guano with feigned surprises.

The biggest leak of documents in history — the Panama Papers — exposing the financial interests of prominent world figures in offshore tax havens, should not be surprising to anyone.

Anyone at all.

Other “surprises” included the Doomsday Porn of religious cults quoting the Bible to explain the “sudden” rash of earthquakes around the planet, Donald Trump amassing an army of goons ignorant of politics and current events but gleefully whining about how much they hate Obama, and of the three winners splitting the largest lottery jackpot in history ($1.5 billion), not a single one was previously associated with the psychic industry.

Luckily we had the entertainment of loony militia yahoos seizing a bird sanctuary on federal land in Oregon to protest federal land grabs, Sarah Palin endorsing Trump and then claiming, “Bill Nye (the Science Guy) is as much a scientist as I am!” and certain groups desperately attempting to “ban Sharia Law” in America. Hopefully someday they will understand religions don’t have laws, they have guidelines known as doctrines, nothing more.

Governments have laws.

There, my brain feels so much emptier now, thank you. I look forward to the refill over these next few months.

Oh, and I was kidding about rental rates falling in the opening line. Sometimes I make stuff up just to see who’s paying attention.

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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