Vail Daily column: Do you know what you’re not thankful for?
If you’re lucky or worked hard enough to have that Porsche or Mercedes in the garage, I’m pretty sure you don’t hold hands around the table and thank your Lord for it. On the other hand, maybe you do thank someone when your 2001 van starts after sitting out in 2 degrees all night (no garage).
“Thank you Jesus for letting me go to work today. Now I can pay for the food, rent and insurance if I just do this 364 more days in a row.”
No matter your place in the world we live, I’ll assume we all have something that pisses us off this time of year. We just can’t bring it up around the table (or shouldn’t).
I asked several people this week, “What makes you madder than hell as the heavenly bliss of the holiday season is upon us?” Here is some commentary from just the regular folks out there.
“My plumbing doesn’t work anymore. And I mean none of it. To put it in words you understand young man … at my age, never trust a fart.”
“I’m 38 years old, divorced, live with three other guys and the four of us can only afford a 30-pack of Genessee every week while our ex-wives are drinking Ketel and eating Kobe beef.”
“My son just graduated from college after six years and the 40 grand we gave him just barely offsets the 50 grand he owes in student loans. Oh and God bless him. … He just moved back in with us.”
“I’m 26 years old and out of school after six years. I can’t find a job that matches my education because there are no jobs, and I had to move back in with my parents. I can’t believe what pains in the ass they are.”
“We’re three days into ski season and people have already started turning around and going back to Denver because cars aren’t moving.”
“How can a president be so stupid to say one thing one day to a particular group of voters, something exactly opposite of that one thing the next day to a different clan of voters and think the cameras weren’t rolling so as to demonstrate his stupidity?”
“Why is it that a person needs to be recognized constantly for accomplishments they have nothing to do with? I find it intolerable that some people just won’t grow out of their ego.”
“I have relatives in Buffalo and 7 feet of snow in one storm means more than they get all year. Does that mean Greenland has moved south of New York and we can blame it on global climate change which has evolved from global warming and it has resulted in global continental shifting?”
“I’m too lazy to look it up, but what is Al Sharpton a reverend of anyway? And who are these people that pay attention to his babble?”
“I’m an Ohio State Buckeye fan and it sickens me to think these ‘experts’ have determined a college football playoff will include only four teams? Do these people think we don’t pay attention to this type of stuff? Only a group of idiots from Faber College could have come up with a worse scenario.”
I asked a young college grad I work with, “What sets you off, Michael? Anything … family, politics, your job, anything … right off the top of your head, Michael?”
He was taking too much time and I was about to disqualify him.
He looked at me with a bit of a blank on his face and said, “You know, nothing comes to mind. I’ve got my family visiting, a roof, some food, a car that gets me around and tons of early season snow. Most everyone around me I like. Everyone else and what they think, I don’t pay much mind to. I’m healthy and I know I have it better than a lot of other people in this world. You’ll have to get back to me. I’m pretty thankful right now.”
How dare I scour for the negative. Happy Thanksgiving.
Greg Ziccardi can be reached at email@example.com.
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