Vail Daily column: Not the sharpest knives in the drawer |

Vail Daily column: Not the sharpest knives in the drawer

Here’s what sort of bothers me about this whole ISIS nonsense: The descriptions apparently preferred by the worldwide TV media.

We are constantly told these are well-trained, well-planned, Internet-savvy, highly coordinated professionals being led by a “mastermind” to create worldwide fear among all who refuse to follow the “one true God” known as Allah.

When actually the vast majority are off the dirt street, non-educated, simple rule-following amateurs led by whichever one can procure the most funds to survive while haphazardly planning to kill themselves because someone a level above convinced them there is an afterlife where they will be rewarded exponentially for murdering as many innocent people as possible.

So please stop giving these mindless buffoons credit for anything other than being the cowardly murderers they are.

Well trained?

Pointing and shooting a weapon at an unarmed innocent child takes no more training than how to bend the joint of a trigger finger.

Well planned?

Finding a location full of innocent people takes no more planning than looking in a newspaper or simply driving down a street and saying to all the other Mohammeds in the car, “Hey, that restaurant looks crowded. Let’s kill them!”

Internet savvy?

Posting a tweet or updating a website takes no more shrewdness than an average 12-year-old with a phone.

Highly coordinated?

Please, what is “highly coordinated” about the ringleader of four separate groups saying, “Now listen, Mohammed, you and all the other Mohammeds watch your phones, and right when it says 12 we all start shooting anything that moves and then blow ourselves up, OK?”


Sure, they are being paid to sit quietly and enjoy the benefits of Western living (bars, strip joints, movies and thousands of other freedoms) until they are needed, but true professionals have health care, 401Ks, stock options and can watch porn at work.

Led by a “mastermind?”

This is easily the most offensive of the words used by the media to describe whichever religious fanatic they think was in charge of the latest murderous rampage.

“Mastermind” conjures up images of a Bond villain, a diabolical genius capable of unimaginable intellectual feats while also proficient at using highly unique methods to kill an enemy simply because he is psychotic and receives a thrill from doing so.

The leaders of these “terror cells” are little more than the guy with the biggest wallet at a recruitment meeting or related to the guy who set up the meeting.

So instead of cowering in fear, falling victim to the pandering platitudes of politicians who will say anything to get or stay in office or waste more time blaming Bush or Obama (the true fault lies in our mirrors), we should just normally live our lives but be cautiously aware of the world around us, and don’t allow these bastards an inch of our liberty.

Oh, at this point I’m referring to ISIS, of course, not the media.

All the TV media really does is annoy me.

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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