Vail Daily column: Time for more tin foil hats

Richard Carnes
My View

“OMG! We’re all gonna die! Mabel, grab the Hazmat suits and my shotgun and lock the front door; Ebola’s a’comin’!”

Fortunately, there is a very big difference between inciting panic in a populace and having a healthy level of concerned fear over a particular issue.

Unfortunately for most Americans, though, the rubber room crowd has taken lead point as we maneuver the maze of unknown twists and turns on the latest, greatest possible end-of-the-world threat to our safe and secure (aka American) way of life.

Yep, fear is indeed a brilliant motivator, but even a cynic like myself is amazed at the depth some are sinking to in order to make this a political issue as opposed to a human health crisis capable of wiping out the entire human race.

Wait, was that hyperbole?

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Of course it was, but listening to the conspiracy theory crowd and certain networks can convince thousands of simple minds that President Obama ordered the import of Ebola into the “red” state of Texas for the purpose of spreading and thus reducing Republican voter rolls.

Yes-yes, it’s all part of Obama’s evil Marxist plan to bring America to her knees so his Muslim brethren can take over. Brilliant plan, if not for the fact that there is no vaccine or cure for Ebola at this point in time, and I’m pretty sure the microscopic virus could care less about borders, races, creeds, preferred beer choices, etc.

These people apparently love their country and the laws for which it stands, but they also hate the representatives of the people who participate in the government for which it stands, especially the ones they elect.

It’s like they want the next two years to magically disappear so they can hurry up and have Hillary in office.

Wait, was that paranoid hyperbole again?

Meanwhile, we’re still stuck with delusional goofballs like the American last month who, in spite of the teams of doctors and nurses that worked 24/7 to save his life, thanked his personal imaginary Sky Daddy for saving his life instead, conveniently ignoring the over 3,000 men, women and children the disease has so far killed.

Yes, his deity saved him because he’s, well, because he’s an American, dammit!

Look, be prepared to hear “Out of an abundance of caution” ad nauseam by the press for the next few weeks, if not months, and there’s nothing wrong with it as long as the intent is to reasonably help prevent further infections. And like 99 percent of the inflammatory crap you read on the Internet, if it seems outrageous, far-fetched and conspiratorial, then it’s almost certainly a strategy to generate revenue through link clicking and/or to advertise some silly product to help you through the coming apocalypse. (Colloidal silver, anyone?)

The reason for all this fear is ignorance and politics. Don’t blindly trust anyone, especially the government, but use common sense and don’t go out of your way to have direct contact with someone else’s sweat, tears, saliva, blood or vomit.

And who does that in the first place? (Besides medical personnel, of course, and sex with someone you’re sure is Ebola-free)

Personally, I can’t wait to see the next round of airstrikes in Syria and northern Iraq with bags of Ebola-filled blood on the missile tips.

Stupid hyperbole.

At least we can all be thankful the Secret Service is not in charge.

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at

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