Vail Daily column: 2016: The year that will be … | VailDaily.com
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Vail Daily column: 2016: The year that will be …

… business as usual, in all likelihood.

Don’t get me wrong though, as the last thing I am is a pessimist. (Have I ever mentioned I grew up a Dallas Cowboy fan?)

I’m more what one might refer to as a cynical optimist. I see the good in people and always hope for the best, but I am jaded enough (experienced?) to resist allowing my hopes to reach too high just in case reality rears its ugly head, which it usually does (speaking of the Cowboys).

So while a part of me is full of hope for 2016 and all the potential it has to offer, another part of me thinks I am full of something else.

The prospects of our world continuing on with “more of the same” is simply too strong to ignore, especially when one attempts to predict the future by looking at the past.

Either way, I can say with the utmost confidence that in 2016 a redneck wearing a Confederate flag jean jacket will use the n-word while shooting a gun on YouTube.

I also feel sure for the eighth year in a row the NRA and gun stores will do everything possible to convince rednecks and other paranoid bigots that Obama is “coming for their guns” so they better “stock up quickly before it’s too late!”

And for the eighth year in a row nothing along those lines will even come close to occurring, but hopefully stricter background checks will be implemented to help prevent the mentally unstable from accessing their preferred weapons of choice.

For the record, I own a few weapons but have yet to have my mental capacity challenged (feel free though).

I am convinced a white police officer will kill an unarmed black man and people of all colors will protest.

I can boldly say Donald Trump’s superficial bid to become the superficial leader of the free world will finally come to a crashing halt, Ted Cruz will return to proselytizing the Senate chambers about the freedom of religion (his) and Ben Carson will be selling “brain energy” pills on QVC.

I can say for sure the Iowa caucus on Feb. 1 will tell us something, but nobody will be quite sure what it is.

I trust one “amazing bombshell!” after another will be dropped in the media concerning Hillary Clinton, but none will leave a single crater on the national liberal consciousness.

I can guarantee a well-dressed man on TV will promise everlasting life, but only if one believes in the same supernatural being that he does. Oh, and he needs you to send him money first in order for the whole everlasting thingy to work.

I am certain an Islamic male between the ages of 18 and 35 with a mangy beard will shout “Allah Akbar” moments before blowing himself to a chunky sludge resembling raw 80 percent-fat hamburger meat thrown against a concrete wall.

Democrats and Republicans will blame each other for problems caused collectively, the federal government will borrow money, the Dow will rise one day and fall the next and a senator/congressman will deny and then admit to either having an affair or being gay, and in one case it will be both.

Locally I am pretty positive a weather person will predict an 8-12 inch dump for Happy Valley and Vail will receive a light dusting and Wolf Creek will get 10 feet.

Tourists will arrive, seasonal workers will leave, someone will complain about the price of lift tickets and rent (but they won’t be the same person) and the Broncos will be in the playoffs with Peyton as the starting QB.

You have my word all of the above will happen, but I reserve the right to be wrong and contradict myself throughout 2016.

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.

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