Vail Daily column: Don’t believe most of what’s below
October 31, 2016
Aug. 2, 2005: My column was about the never-heard-from-again bigot Tom Tancredo (remember him?) and why he would never be president, and I ended it with the line " … and Bill Clinton will never be first lady either."
April 26, 2011: "Donald Trump will never be president of the United States" was my opening line. It was followed by, "Like Sarah Palin, this chump is not a cultural phenomenon, but a cultural embarrassment, and the sooner the GOP dumps his pretend campaign they can move forward towards someone — anyone — with more depth than this superficial cheeseball."
Am I prophetic, or what?
Either way, throughout the next week, we will be exposed to more and more last-minute desperate attempts by both sides to convince the still "undecided" (seriously, do they actually exist?) to vote in his or her favor.
Like Trump's court case involving alleged sex with a 13-year-old girl — win or lose — Clinton's emails will never amount to anything other than a talking point for conspiracy buffs, but that will not stop creative headlines on everything from Clinton's pap smear to Trump's prostate report, and we should not fall for any of it.
For example, here are a few actual headlines over the past two weeks:
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"Major media organizations have been ordered to destroy Trump!"
Bill O'Reilly implied it, but with no actual evidence.
"Breaking: Jill Stein just endorsed Donald Trump! Watch her obliterate Hillary!"
Um, no, she is running for president herself so would not endorse anyone else. She said she would not "sleep well at night" if either Clinton or Trump wins the election. Oh, and the headline linked to donaldtrumpnews.com — go figure.
"OMG!! Video of Michelle Obama's angry tirade against Hillary went viral overnight! Hillary wants this deleted from the Internet!!"
It was linked to an anti-Clinton political ad from 2008, and more importantly, the site was attempting to sell "Trump stocks — real winners!"
"If Donald Trump loses, his supporters plan to blame women!"
Nope. This one led to a link for satire claiming Trump wants to abolish the 19th Amendment (giving women the right to vote).
"Wikileaks: Podesta emails talk about Scalia assassination days before his death!"
The "always believable" Pamela Geller promotes this as proof Hillary was connected to the "assassination" of Supreme Court Justice Scalia.
"Hillary Clinton: 'American people have no Constitutional right to bear arms.'"
Something called IHaveTheTruth.com provides a video where she says no such thing, but their interpretation includes the words "apparently" and "evidently" as proof she meant it this way.
"Hillary Clinton: Christians in America must abandon faith in Christ, adhere to new liberal laws."
This one came from (shocker!) a religious website. In the supplied video she, of course, says no such thing.
You can also insert your favorite candidate-to-hate to fit your own narrative:
"Hillary/Trump supporters beat homeless person!"
"You won't believe what this proves about Hillary/Trump!"
"Voting machine caught red-handed switching votes from Trump to Clinton (or Clinton to Trump)."
All of it mildly entertaining, none of it true.
So, with this being my final column before the election, if you have yet to vote please keep perspective on everything said and written throughout the next week. While years ago I predicted neither of these buffoons ever becoming president, reality promises I will be proven wrong on one hand.
But hey, at least I'll be right on the other.
Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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