Vail Daily column: ‘Groundhog Day’ for the GOP
Why, oh why, will the GOP never learn any lessons?
Just last week the perennial mouth with no brain attached, Sarah Palin, proudly announced to the Washington Post, “You can absolutely say that I am seriously interested (in possibly running for president).”
Yeah, you betcha. You go girl.
Just when you think the Republican clown car can’t stuff another clown in through the back door, along comes the one-term Wasilla mayor and half-term Alaska governor.
This GOP eternal embarrassment is apparently in permanent “I just might run” mode, as it’s now her only money maker since Fox News dumped her from pretending to report whatever the Koch brothers deemed worthy.
Why can’t anyone in the GOP remember she’s at least partly to blame for getting the party into this mess in the first place. Sure, it was McCain’s selecting her that started the debacle, but from that point on it was “all Sarah, all idiocy, all the time.”
Can you imagine a debate between Palin and Hillary?
(I tried not to spew while typing the above sentence, but to no avail, making a mess with my dehydrated bananas)
It’s like we’re all watching “Groundhog Day,” only it’s not fiction and certainly not a comedy, it’s just sad.
To be perfectly honest though, I actually wish she would run for the sheer entertainment value this comedic stepchild would deliver (Think: Tina Fey), but I’m not half as scared of Palin as I am of the brain-dead who support her, as those are the voting Americans that truly frighten me.
Either way, her 15 minutes ended over six years ago, and no one except the low IQ goobers salivating at the thought of again being verbally fleeced by Princess Sarah should ever bother even mentioning her name, except perhaps as the guest speaker for the Wasilla Rotary Club.
So after eliminating her, we’re left at this point with the following:
Scott “I ignore unions” Walker.
Jeb “Ignore my mother, please” Bush.
Marco “Wait, I thought we were for immigration reform” Rubio.
Chris “Bridgegate” Christie.
Rand “I ain’t my daddy” Paul.
Ted “Not all Texans think I’m nuts” Cruz.
Mike “Jesus wrote the Constitution” Huckabee.
Rick “Jesus hates homos” Santorum.
Bobby “We all just need more Jesus” Jindal.
Rick “Oops” Perry.
Mitt “I didn’t mean the 47 percent line” Romney.
Or Donald “Look at me!” Trump.
A year from now we’ll actually be deciding which of these bozos has the best chance to take back the White House, and I just don’t see it happening.
I also don’t understand why out of 321 million Americans we feel obligated to pick another Bush or Clinton. No family has done more damage to the modern GOP brand than Bush, unless you consider Nixon, but there was nothing modern about him, and the thought of another Clinton makes me puke a few more banana bites.
For those confused over my personal point of view, I’m a Republican whenever the donkeys are heading an administration and a Democrat whenever it’s the elephant’s turn.
I love our two-party system, as it never allows one side to ever have too much power, but it only works if we take turns, and the way it’s looking it appears we’ll all be saying, “Yes, Madam President” within 24 months.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.