Vail Daily column: The annual Christmas poem
’Tis the day before the night before Christmas
And throughout our great nation,
Billions of packages sit on trucks
Quietly awaiting their final destination.
But there’s much bigger problems
Like torture and racism,
That spread across borders
Creating radicals and terrorism.
Should we torture, we ask,
If it saves one innocent life,
Or is our precious American image
Worth all of the strife?
Yet the economy is back
Gas is low, stocks are high,
Making it easier for many
To do more than “just get by.”
Sure, not for all
I’m not really naive,
But this is my poem
Feel free to write about your own pet peeve.
But who in the world
Believes gas will stay cheap,
Probably those who blame Obama
For a doctor they couldn’t keep.
And non-believers in climate change
Or if you prefer — global warming,
You’re doing the next generation a disservice
With some serious misinforming.
This really gets old
Our nonsensical reliance,
On refusing to grow
Using peer-reviewed science.
And to those loving religion
For which so many are willing to die,
May you soon come to your senses
Concerning a make-believe entity, hiding up in the sky.
And although we’ve been ashamed
Of American shootin’ and lootin,’
We don’t suck anywhere near
As a country run by a Putin.
And what is the point
Of this verbal diarrhea,
As if our entertainment is chosen
By a crazy nut from North Korea.
Who cares what they think
We know it’s probably terrible,
But it’s our choice to make
Even if the entire movie’s unbearable.
But enough of this stupidity
For there’s so many reasons,
To chuck it all aside
’Cuz it’s the holiday season!
Though much is a mess
And all seems in trouble,
We’re still safe and warm
In our Rocky Mountain bubble.
The snow is certainly falling
In big blankets of fluff,
And we’ll never ever, ever
Get enough of the stuff.
While you’re up on the mountain
Jumping cliffs with alert,
Take a moment of reflection
Remembering our first season, without Tony Seibert.
Or watch your kids ski
And think of the moolah,
If they can learn to ski as good as
Sarah, Lindsey or Mikaela.
Thus we can’t ignore the pros
The last thing they follow are scripts,
And in just four short weeks we’ll be having
The 2015 World Championships!
On a personal note
Thanks for helping me stay calm,
As this is the very first Christmas
Without my mom.
Yep, I had to get that in
For you guys supported me so much,
I’ll never forget the responses
It was just such a nice touch.
So although the world can be nasty
Full of evil and strife,
Never forget for us in the Vail Valley
It is indeed a wonderful life!
Read it and weep
Try your best not to get sick,
Even though you just suffered your way through
The 15th crappy Christmas poem, by Dick.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.