Vail Daily column: The primary circus moves on
Confused about how, or even why, Hillary Clinton received half the votes of Bernie Sanders but the same number of delegates in New Hampshire?
Don’t worry, for you are not alone. Millions across the country, including tens of thousands in New Hampshire, are pretending to be confused and upset over the results.
Yes, delegates Hillary did not earn with votes were “redistributed” (ha-ha-ha) from Bernie back to her highness through the archaic primary system in New Hampshire, but this should have been no surprise to anyone.
This is one of the ways a democratic republic works. States have the right to run certain things their own ways, and primaries and caucuses for elections are no exception.
And if you think the Granite State was goofy, you’re going to love the one that used be called the Iodine State.
Now that the nation can return to ignoring Iowans and socialist lovers, we get to pretend to care what one of the most racist states in the nation thinks about something, or should I say anything, as long as it makes for entertaining 15-second video clips.
“Hey! Mister Cameraman, put the camera on me! I haven’t decided who to vote for yet!”
Doing it on separate days (Republican on Feb. 20 and Dems on Feb. 27), we get an extra week of watching toothless morons make thinly veiled racist remarks about President Obama, one or both Clintons, a Jewish socialist and the confederate flag.
Yep, it’ll be about flags, symbols, slogans and pathetic clowns dressing up like “Lord of the Rings” rejects shouting their hate-filled rhetoric like a bunch of overgrown kids. “Our idiots are better than your idiots any day!”
Where’s Daisy Duke when we need her?
Anyway, the only real surprises from New Hampshire were Chris Christie bitch-slapping Marco Rubio silly as he retreated out the back door and Carly Fiorina finally realizing she was not the conservative Hillary.
Oh, and John Kasich taking second place was a pretty pleasant surprise.
Trump was no surprise, if you follow the polls, and Cruz was too busy courting that Duck Dynasty Dick and his “rid the world of gays” nonsense while his wife was busy anointing him with a martyr tagline in case he doesn’t win the nomination. (Hint: He won’t)
Could this be a clear signal for Bloomberg to put on his party hat?
What effect will the death of Supreme Court Judge (the Voting Rights Act was a “racial entitlement”) Scalia play?
Grin and bear it I suppose, because Colorado, for the most part, follows a caucus procedure similar to Iowa and New Hampshire, and we are part of Super Tuesday on March 1 along with 13 other states.
For the uninitiated, the main difference between a primary and a caucus is one serves booze from behind an official bar and the other serves it inside someone’s house.
But if you didn’t declare a party by Jan. 4 it doesn’t really matter because all you can do on Super Tuesday is grab a beer and watch results on TV or the interwebs.
Or, you could just ignore the whole thing.
That’s what most people do.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.