Vail Daily column: Yet another (blah) Christmas poem | VailDaily.com

Vail Daily column: Yet another (blah) Christmas poem

’Tis three days before Christmas

And all through the nation,

Even presidential candidates are taking

A well-deserved vacation.

But I take that back

Those putzes don’t deserve diddly,

With their boring platitudes

And arrogant flippancy.

But for the rest of us

Hey, it’s our favorite time of year again,

With snow and presents

And a little extra pigskin.

You’re here to get away

From a world full of crisis,

The politics and religion

Of murder via ISIS.

And 2015 was full of surprises

We have a new word for narcissism,

Any time you use it

Just insert the word Trumpism.

“I am woman, hear me roar!”

It’s shouted from a media center,

But was really a conservative Christian

Formally known as Bruce Jenner.

It’s also interesting to be exposed

To the 1-percenters’ underbelly,

As we cheer for the arrest

Of former hedge fund scum Martin Shkreli.

But the economy is back

Gas is low, stocks are high (’cept for last week),

Making it easier for many

To do more than “just get by.”

So if it’s powder you want

And dumpage you seek,

Be aware we’re promised

More snow all this week!

And while you are up on the mountain

Jumping cliffs with alert,

Take a moment of reflection

Remembering our second season without Tony Seibert.

And speaking of those

Of memories bittersweet,

It’s hard to describe

How much we miss Sandy Treat.

And David Levine

My old golfing buddy,

Who taught me so much

And forced me to study.

But enough of the sadness

It’s a time to be happy,

With friends and family

And all things extra sappy.

While most of us are

Schussing turns with glee,

Keep your thoughts on Mikaela

As she nurses her right knee.

But we know she’ll be back

With gorgeous looks and her brawn,

When she returns to the chase

Of our other local legend — Miss Lindsey Vonn.

And if the two “Als” hit you

Known as “’cohol” and “’titude,”

Just looking out your window

Is sure to brighten your mood.

Or if that’s not enough

And you can’t handle shopping in stores,

There’s more than one location

To see the new “Star Wars.”

And if you’ve never been to Colorado

Or experienced a real Rocky Mountain High,

Don’t forget our special chocolate

Ain’t legal once you fly.

Yes, though much is a mess

And all seems in trouble,

We’re still safe and warm

In our Rocky Mountain bubble.

So although the world can be nasty

Full of evil and strife,

Never forget for us in the Vail Valley

It is indeed a wonderful life!

P.S. — Read it and weep

I promise it’s not a trick,

Even though once again, you just read

Another crappy Christmas poem (No. 16!), by Dick. 

Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.