Letter: And now for something completely different
Now that the one guy is out of the house in D.C., we need to get back to discussing important issues — issues that I feel have been swept under the rug for some time now. Now I would like to bring it into the gritty light of day.
This is not going to be pretty. I am going to take a hard line on this, and I know I will make a lot of people mad when they read this. Deep breath, here we go. We, as a nation, need to see a return of action stars doing family movies.
Think about it. Back in the 90s and 2000s, if you were a big action star, you would have to place yourself in an awkward situation by babysitting/teaching/dealing with kids. Let me remind you of some of them. Arnold wanted us to come with him if we wanted to live, but then in “Kindergarten Cop” he had to tell us it’s not a tumor. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson went from being “The Scorpion King” to become a dad in “The Game Plan,” then went to do “Tooth Fairy.” Hugh Jackman went from playing Wolverine to Pan, Vin Diesel went from Riddick to “The Pacifier” and Bruce Willis went from “The Sixth Sense” to “The Kid.” Even Jackie Chan, a foreign action star, did “The Karate Kid” and “The Spy Next Door.”
Isn’t it time we hold up today’s action stars to their standards. Wouldn’t you like to see Liam Neeson walk up to a bundle of joy and say, “What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that makes me a nightmare for your diaper rash.” Or how about a remake of “Three Men and a Baby” staring the Chrises: Hemsworth, Pratt and Evans! Or how about Jason Statham become the “Other Transporter,” where he drives a school bus and empowers kids.
Now I know, most of your are saying, well, the kids movies really weren’t that good. I am the first to admit it, but come on, isn’t it worth a bad movie to see Robert Downey Jr., of “Iron Man” fame get baby vomit all over him? That’s all I’m saying.