Letter: Don’t go see Danger Mountain at Vail Brewing Company

To my fellow Eagle County citizens, out-of-state visitors, and Texans: This is a public service announcement regarding the so-called Danger Mountain String Band who will be playing at Vail Brewing Company on Thursday, July 7, from 6-9 p.m. As someone who considers themself a musical connoisseur, I feel it is my responsibility, nay, my duty to tell you that if you go to this show, you will be signing up for three hours of boot stompin’, knee slappin’, beer drinkin’, guitar pickin’ music about sex, drugs, mamma, prison, trains, trucks, and gettin’ drunk.

These fellas get up on stage with their guitar boxes and sing of things like murder, love, regret, shame. … I mean … feelings and real-life hard time stuff. Who has time for that? As a full-time social-media influencer, I am way too busy working to make my life look perfect online to acknowledge or process any faults or “bad vibes.” Just keep your mouth shut and bury those thoughts deep down inside is what I say.

You know what’s the worst part? They play bluegrass! That’s right, no drums, no auto-tune, no crunchy dank wobble womp brown notes, just four dudes on stringed instruments movin’ the air around with their fingers and their vocal cords. Sure, they have some original tunes, but they also cover bands like The Grateful Dead, Billy Strings, Little Feat, Tony Rice …. everyone’s least favorite “artists,” amIrite? So if you want to have a terrible time, by all means, go to Vail Brewing Company in EagleVail this Thursday, July 7, from 6-9 p.m. and watch Danger Mountain String Band. I’ll be at home making TikToks and listening to Nickelback. 

Arthur Wessel

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