Letter: Don’t vote for me!
I know, I know! I’m not even on the ballot, but even if you wrote my name down when you go to vote, you would be throwing your vote away. So for all of you out there, please, do not vote for me. Besides, could you imagine if I ran and won? OMG! I would have to change a lot.
My first order of business: offer a “winter” Colorado license. If you have lived in the valley, or anywhere in the mountains of Colorado for over five years, and can prove you have a reliable car and good driving record, then every time they close the pass, you could still keep driving while everyone else gets off the highway. I would never miss a flight to Mexico or Las Vegas again!
Second, I would have to change some of these crazy laws. For example, could you picture the old Office Depot store in Avon getting a second level with multiple stages for, ahem, dancers? Do you know how much business that would bring in? And yes, every Wednesday it would be lady’s night. I think Thunder from Down Under is popular, right?
And finally, make a law that says if you have a residence in the valley and it is occupied less than four months of the year, we can take it over for our workforce housing. You can still use your house, but just clear it with your roommates. Oh yeah, and by the way, all of these new housing options are pet-friendly.
So you see, I wouldn’t be good for government. So please, when you go to vote, don’t write me in — it would just be a waste of time and energy. However, if you would like to send campaign donations, you can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn and most other forms of internet browsing. Cash only please!