Letter: Let’s push for no more drunken deciding by elected officials
November 24, 2017
Drunken driving and drunken dialing — two dreadful double-D's. Thankfully, these two DD's can be prevented simply by investing in a Breathalyzer cell phone. So, why not take advantage of the genius of this high-tech phone to tackle a third dreaded DD. That DD is drunken deciding. Yes, I said drunken deciding — drunken deciding by inebriated elected officials.
Imagine what fun it would be if a volunteer sobriety watch-dog group armed with Breathalyzer phones stationed themselves at the doors of governing bodies. Imagine the "dogs" conducting surprise Breathalyzer testing of elected public servants before allowing them to stagger into their seats of power.
A reporter could be asked to cover the surprise attack. The well-known paparazza could be hired to wait in the shadows. Those deciders who failed the sobriety test would have their partially paralyzed derrieres removed by security as the paparazza sprints back and forth at cheetah speed snapping shot after shot. If, after testing, too few deciders remained to form a sober quorum, just send everyone in attendance home.
No more drunken deciding. No more public servants who have turned themselves into public menaces incapable of making sound decisions. No more pushing one arm up with the other in approval of yet another ill-conceived policy or bond resolution that would cost the taxpayer millions of dollars. No more dumb deciding. Dumb deciding? That would make four DDs, wouldn't it?
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