Letter: Seeking advice on my neighbor’s crappy behavior | VailDaily.com
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Letter: Seeking advice on my neighbor’s crappy behavior

It has come to my attention that every morning at precisely 6:30 a.m., a neighbor walks their dogs across the street so that they “do their business” on the grass below my living room and bedroom windows. I understand the need to use this grassy knoll, as the nearest dog park is a staggering 200 yards in the opposite direction and I would not lightly ask any person to take on such a trek. The section of greenery is fair and communal land and my neighbor’s beasties have as much right to defecate there as I do. (I think? I’ll ask at the next HOA meeting). 

My qualm in this situation is the flagrant disregard for decency that this swine employs in not removing their pet’s fresh parcels. I admit I would understand if occasionally a baggie was forgotten or if time constraints restricted compliance to pet owner norms, but I have noticed a daily disregard of respect for the community that I can no longer abide. My question herewith is thus presented with three possible solutions. After gathering empirical data on the movements, poop schedule and lair location of my nemesis (looking out my window while drinking coffee in the morning), I have come to the following courses of action …

  • I could look inward and rather than dwell on another’s shortcomings, try to improve my outlook on the poops and see them as natural dog behavior and get on with my day. 
  • Collect all the poops in baggies and place them in a box, rather passive-aggressively on the enemy’s front lawn or doorstep. (In containers, of course, so as not to cause any damage or inconvenience) 
  • Purchase a reloadable doggie bag holder from Amazon, gift wrap it and have it delivered with a note signed: “Please enjoy, from a dog-loving neighbor.”


At the time of going to press, I admit to leaning heavily towards Option C, however, I am open to persuasion from my peers and colleagues. Perhaps this post will be seen by my mortal foe and they might see the error of their ways, or, perhaps I will lose interest in their poopy terrorism and move on to other issues.

If I fail to take a stand now, am I not welcoming chaos? I look forward to the advice of the community.

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Simon Phillips

Vail


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