Newmann: Car talk |

Newmann: Car talk

We made a snap decision the other day to drive to the Big Smoke. Seems like we needed to run a few overdue errands there.

We aimed the car in the direction of Denver and had a smooth and uneventful drive — until just west of Georgetown. Traffic there had come to a standstill and remained that way for the next three hours due to, we found out later, a truck fire in the eastbound lane.

So we just sat there while the cars behind us were probably backed up into Utah.

The first hour was one of hope. (“Just a few more minutes and we’ll be on our way.”)

The second hour turned into resignation. (“Hope we actually get there tonight.”)

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By the third hour, you’re into pondering the imponderable. You start to wonder:

  • Why do automated telephone messages tell you to “please pay attention since our menus have changed?” Did you even know the contents of the menu before it changed? And who actually cares if the menu changed? It still runs you through the multitude of options. (Which are generally as confusing as the old menu and end up with you pushing “0” to just speak to a real live person.)
  • Where do politicians come from? Scientists have been trying to formulate an answer to this question for eons. But they finally gave up and started looking for life on Mars.
  • And, speaking of politicians, why all the fuss about Ballot Issue 1A? Sure, the language may have been a bit vague. (Especially if you hadn’t looked at the synopsis.) But term limits — well, it really doesn’t matter if they’re one term. Or two terms. Or three. The real issue seems to be whether the incumbent is actually doing the job he or she has been elected to do. If so, maybe they’re worthy of being re-elected. If not, bye, bye. Our votes really determine their term limits.
  • Why are the lids on Gatorade containers so hard to twist off? You come in from a workout craving a refreshing lemon lime Gatorade — and then need the jaws of life to pry the cap off. It’s like a workout after a workout. But it makes water an easy option.
  • What’s going on with the Broncos? This team is remarkably good … and remarkably bad. Which version is going to show up on any given Sunday is another in a series of the Nancy Drew Mile High mysteries.
  • Why do the folks in the vehicles in the westbound lanes look so happy? Maybe it’s because they’re actually moving along at a rapid pace while you’re just sitting there. (And, with this revelation, a wave of envy washes over you.)

But then, miraculously — you’re finally starting to inch along. Eureka!

All the muddled thoughts drift away as the speed picks up. And then you’re just cruising along, heading toward the hazy city and happy that you’ve had no appointments to get to, no real time constraints and that you’re once again free and easy — and on the road.

And hoping that, on the return trip, you don’t hit bumper-to-bumper rush-hour traffic.

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