Norton: Being thoughtful of the thoughts of others
Last week, I shared some reflections about how our thoughts often find their rhythm when we walk, hike, or jog. Nature has a way of opening the space for our minds to wander, reset, and refocus. After publishing that column, I received several thoughtful emails, some appreciative, some challenging, that reminded me of something worth exploring further: what if we extended our awareness beyond our own thoughts and considered the thoughts of others on their walk, hike, jog, or journey through life?
It’s a simple idea but a powerful one. We live in a world where personal reflection is good and necessary, but collective reflection might be even better. As readers pointed out, in times like these, when differences dominate headlines, social media feeds, classrooms, workplaces, and even dinner tables, our willingness to imagine what others might be thinking is more important than ever.
Listening before assuming
Instead of guessing what people might be thinking during their solitary moments, I decided to ask. I reached out to friends, colleagues, family members, and even a few strangers. Their answers surprised me, not because they were wildly different from my own, but because they weren’t.
Some told me that their runs or walks feel like a private therapy session, a space where they can clear the mental clutter and give attention to what weighs on their hearts. One friend shared that she makes it a point to meet eyes with people she passes, offering a smile and silently counting how many smiles she gets in return. Another spoke of using those quiet miles to connect with the memory of a loved one who has passed, giving sadness its place while also making room for beautiful memories.
Others admitted they use the time to sort through work projects or brainstorm creative ideas. Nearly everyone, in one way or another, confessed that thoughts of the state of the world inevitably creep in, leaving them unsettled.
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What struck me most was that no matter which side of the political aisle someone leaned toward, no matter their age or stage of life, they all agreed on one thing: the uncertainty of our world today is unsettling.
We are more alike than different
The more I dug into these conversations, the clearer it became: most people are not just thoughtful; they are thoughtful of others. Nearly everyone expressed hopes and dreams for their children, grandchildren, or future generations. They long for a world where freedom, respect, and opportunity are stronger than the rhetoric and division that seem to fuel so much anger.
Yes, we see the differences. Yes, the chasm can feel wide. But underneath, many of us are carrying similar hopes. We may be walking different paths, but our hearts are still hiking in the same general direction.
Choosing our glasses
Here’s where I might invite some criticism. Some will say this outlook is naïve, or accuse me of hiding behind rose-colored glasses. And maybe they’re right. But here’s my counter: rose-colored glasses are far better than woes-colored glasses.
Rose-colored glasses let us see opportunity, possibility, and abundance. They remind us that every person we pass on the trail has their own story, their own struggles, and their own dreams. Woes-colored glasses keep our eyes fixed on fear, scarcity, and doubt. They block out the beauty of both nature and human nature.
So why not choose lenses that help us see more clearly what is good and hopeful in one another?
I invite you to a simple challenge. The next time you find yourself deep in thought during a walk, run, or hike, pause for just a moment. After you’ve let your own mind wander, consider what might be on the mind of the person passing by. They may be grieving, smiling through pain, celebrating a small victory, or carrying the same concerns you are.
I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. And remember, being thoughtful of the thoughts of others doesn’t mean we abandon our own. It simply means we expand our circle of compassion. In doing so, maybe we take one small step toward narrowing that chasm and living, together, a better-than-good life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
