Norton: Communicating through the storm
We are living in a time of incredible pressure, and tragically, it’s our children who are carrying the heaviest burden. Anxiety and depression levels among children and teens have skyrocketed over the past decade, and every credible study points to a clear set of culprits: social media, internet access and the ever-growing mountain of academic, athletic and social expectations. It’s overwhelming, and that’s putting it lightly.
It’s easy to point fingers at TikTok, Instagram, relentless competition or even the unrealistic portrayals of “perfect” lives online. And sure, these things are huge factors. But if we’re serious about making a difference and truly loving and leading our families, we have to ask the harder question: Right here at home, are we doing enough to ease their worries, doubts and fears?
The answer for most of us is probably not yet.
The critical role of communication
Communication isn’t a “nice-to-have” in this battle for the hearts and minds of our children. It’s everything. And it’s not just communicating when there’s a problem. It’s proactive communication. Frequent communication. Maybe even, dare I say it, over-communication.
Our kids navigate a digital battlefield every day. The voices they hear the loudest are too often the ones telling them they’re not good enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough. If we aren’t filling their emotional tanks every single day with hope, encouragement, love and acceptance, then someone else will fill that tank, and it will be with poison, not life-giving truth.
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I will never forget an unforgettable moment I witnessed with the late, great Zig Ziglar, arguably one of the greatest motivational speakers ever.
At a packed seminar with over 5,000 people, an audience member stepped up to the mic during a Q&A session. Fighting back tears, he thanked Zig for the impact Zig had on his own life, but explained that his son was struggling mightily to stay motivated. Zig’s response was nothing short of divine wisdom.
He told the man to go home, sit on the edge of his son’s bed, look him in the eyes, and say:
“Son, I am so glad God entrusted me with your life. You are such a blessing to me. I am proud of you. And I love you.”
Zig encouraged him to do this every morning and every night. Not once, not when it was convenient, not when the child “deserved it.” Every day.
As the cameras panned the audience, thousands of people wiped away tears. And sitting right next to me was Zig’s son, Tom Ziglar, a grown man and CEO in his own right, with tears streaming down his face. I asked him if Zig had done that for him. Tom smiled through the tears and said, “Yes. And he still does it, even now.”
Think about that: A father who never stopped telling his grown son how proud he was. Every day. No matter what.
If we want to lead and love our children in this chaotic world, we must show up with our words, not just with advice, correction and affirmation. We have to speak life into their tired, doubting, anxious hearts.
They need to hear it when they get straight A’s.
They need to hear it when they fail a test.
They need to hear it when they make us proud.
They need to hear it when they break our hearts.
Especially when they break our hearts.
Because mistakes don’t define them, grace does. Growth does. And our unwavering love does. Our communication must be an unrelenting flood of love, encouragement and reminders that they are more than enough, that no failure can separate them from our love, and that no outside voice is louder or stronger than the voice of their family cheering them on.
The pressures and dangers are real, but our ability to counteract them is real too. If we don’t communicate, the world will. If we do communicate relentlessly, intentionally and lovingly, we might just raise a generation that can walk through the storm without losing their way.
Let’s speak up, every day, every chance we get. Their future depends on it. I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. When we intentionally communicate through the storm, it really will be a better-than-good life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
