Vail Daily column: Make America grope again | VailDaily.com

Vail Daily column: Make America grope again

Richard Carnes
My View

My plan was to wait until the very last minute, right after the debate ended Sunday night, and quickly write down my thoughts on the latest entertainment extravaganza known as "Trump Speaks Loudly, Clinton Smiles Widely."

Not the most brilliant of designs, but then again one must consider the architect.

It all changed Friday afternoon while I was listening to the radio and driving down to Rifle to provide KZYR radio color to John Dakin's play-by-play for the Battle Mountain football game.

In his never-ending attempt to redefine the phrase "rock bottom," it was exposed that Donald Trump has a new definition for the acronym "GOP" (use your imagination) and new meaning for the phrase "furniture shopping."

In my personal opinion, no matter what angle one attempts to play, forcing a Michael Jackson crotch grab on someone other than yourself is a clear and concise no-no, and bragging about it, regardless of the circumstance, only makes it worse.

But Donald Trump simply cannot help himself. Or maybe he was just trying to impress Billy Bush with his female conquest, or perhaps he could, but lacks the mature mental skills required for political common sense self-control.

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Who knows, or more importantly, to quote Hillary Clinton, "What difference does it make at this point?"

Nothing the man says surprises or shocks me anymore, and every time he says something stupid and/or outrageous his surrogates immediately come out spinning with "what he really meant."

This time it's especially entertaining.

He responded with the expected lame apology, and immediately twisted the situation into a claim about how Bill Clinton made even more inappropriate comments to him on the golf course, back when they were good friends, of course.

I suppose we could ask Sean Hannity for clarification.

So I didn't need to risk waiting for the debate to compose this column, but I'd put good money down that Hillary Clinton will toss bait in the form of Rosie O'Donnell or Miss Universe and this latest "incident," and Trump will fall for it hook, line and sinker while attempting to deflect the attention to his opponent's spouse.

I hope Trump knows I am in complete agreement with him that it's a good thing Bill is not running for president.

Anyhoo, he'll talk about stamina, Mexicans, Muslims and Goldman Sachs speeches while she will talk about temperament, Skittles, Miss Piggy and tax returns.

(A few hours later … )

OK, well, I thought I'd take a swig of craft beer with each sniff from Trump, but was hammered in less than 20 minutes, so I switched to Alka-Seltzer.

I didn't hear anything about stamina or Skittles, but everything else was as predictable as Michael Cacioppo at a public tax proposal meeting. Trump could not answer the very first question and went downhill from there while Clinton couldn't stop that annoying smirk.

Twenty-eight days cannot come quick enough.

Richard Carnes of Edwards writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.

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