Vail Daily column: More confusing by the day
Little Donny has a secret.
The details of the secret are unknown to all others — as far as we know — but the secret appears to be so important that Little Donny is willing to sacrifice an entire nation to prevent the secret from being revealed.
It is hard to know how his secret began, but more and more seem convinced as to how it will end.
But that does not appear to bother Little Donny.
One thing that does clearly bother him, however, is the mere thought that he is not liked.
Little Donny likes to be liked.
In fact, he cherishes being liked so bigly that he will say or tweet anything at any moment if he is convinced it is what people wish to hear him say.
This makes Little Donny very happy.
But the happy moments are occurring less and less these days.
He asked a friend to write a letter and he told the friend what he wanted the letter to say.
The friend wrote the letter.
Little Donny then used the letter as a reason for firing another friend out of the club.
Neither friend was happy.
His press people told everyone about the letter and how it was the reason behind firing him out of the club.
Little Donny changed his story and told everyone it was because the fired guy had treated a female friend of his poorly.
His press people told everyone THAT was the real reason.
Then Little Donny changed his story again and said he never really liked the guy in the first place and didn’t need a letter to tell him to fire the guy and he never really was friends with the female, either. Oh, and the Keebler elf guy told him to do it, too.
His press people, after wiping brows and shuffling papers, said THAT was now the REAL reason.
It should be noted that the fired guy had been very busy investigating Little Donny’s past with outsiders.
The next day, Little Donny privately invited a few of those very same outsiders into his office and then was upset when the outsiders published pictures of the meeting because he did not want to publicize his meeting with the outsiders.
This left everyone dazed and confused and also curious.
Little Donny, who was recently livid that someone might have recorded something he said, then threatened the fired guy that he should be careful what he says because Little Donny might have recorded something he said.
His press people are hiding in the bushes and not saying very much anymore.
Little Donny, who does not seem to realize the more he tweets “something is nothing” the more it becomes “something,” is now tweeting he might be better off without any press people at all.
He wants to do all the talking and tweeting himself because that way no one could ever discover his valuable secret or be confused about what Little Donny actually thinks.
Little Donny is in deep doo-doo.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.