Vail Daily column: Thankful for Vail friends
It’s corny and predictable this particular week to write a column about whatever I happen to be thankful for, so in order not to ruin anyone’s faux perception of moi, this is exactly what I am doing.
I am writing from the third floor balcony on a Vail friend’s private home in Belize.
Wait, before you get all high and mighty and yell at the defenseless paper about where “Carnes can go shove his keyboard up his (imaginative expletive) for all I (you) care,” understand that my family is not actually in Belize proper, but an outlying island called Caye Caulker (pronounced: Key Cawl-ker) with a private beach and pier.
Yes-yes, I know, that makes it worse, but hear me out.
It is a tiny little strip of sand and palm trees consisting of around 1,000 island souls whose purpose in life is to remind people (like us) to “Slow down … ”
It’s just like we do in Vail, except we ask them to slow down a lot quicker and charge a lot more money for the experience (after all, time is money, right?).
And they help you slow down by not allowing any cars on the island. You can either walk, ride a bike or take a golf cart, just like Vail Village, except there you have to walk your bike and golf carts are ridiculously inefficient in the snow.
By the way, if the moon were a 16-inch pizza, last week’s Super Moon was 16.05 inches — not really a big deal.
Anyway, the point is simple: I am here and you are not.
No-no, that’s not what I meant, dammit … the point is: I am here and you are there, and both locations are “perfect enough” in their own respective ways.
And for this I am thankful.
In fact, we should start referring to Caye Caulker as “Vail South,” as we are literally surrounded by other families from Happy Valley. A few of them used their collective assets and management skills to build and lease what are without question the nicest homes on the island.
Seriously, check out Gore Range Properties if you’re interested (Note: Vail Resorts is not allowed to even look).
But let’s return to giving thanks.
I am thankful the apparent three island modes (drunk, hungover and in the middle of acquiring one or the other) apply more to others than myself.
I am also thankful …
• The “No-see-um’s” (microscopic little buggers) are not too annoying if you “no-scratch-‘em.”
• Not all of the fruit juice I have consumed has included rum in the mix.
• I was able to watch the Cowboys game in an island bar.
• For snowfall back home while we are away.
Oh, and not one person down here has mentioned the words: Trump or Clinton.
And finally, at age 57, I am thankful for three beautiful children, one beautiful wife, one beautiful daughter-in-law, real friends (you know who you are), fake acquaintances (ditto), beer, golf and that I do not make a living from writing weekly columns these past 18 years.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and slow down.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com.