Vail Daily column: The election year is over!
December 26, 2016
The year 2016 began as it ended, with more unexpected twists and turns than the latest Trump tweet praising Putin.
We had the Dow losing over 1,000 points in the first flippin' week while a group of militia yahoo's took over a bird (loon) sanctuary in Oregon to protest federal land grabs.
The Dow returned but the loony birds died, went to prison or resumed collecting welfare.
Bill Cosby's chocolate pudding popped and he was indicted for rape, we lost Lemmy from Motorhead, David Bowie, Glenn Frey and Paul Kanter, a $1.5 billion lottery was won by three folks and, surprisingly, not a single one of them claimed to be a psychic.
A mountain lion killed a dog in Vail.
Over the rest of the winter we sadly lost Keith Emerson (the "E" in Emerson, Lake & Palmer), George Martin (Beatles), Merle Haggard and Prince, but on the plus side, Anthony Scalia stepped down from the Supreme Court for the last time.
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The Broncos won the Super Bowl, local alpine stud River Radamus won three gold medals at the Youth Olympic Games and my oldest son married a beautiful young lady from Summit County down in Puerto Rico.
And little ol' non-theist me was the perfectly legal officiant.
The spring and summer went by in a flash as Ted Cruz's father called on Jesus to give the election to his son, and Donald Trump, who was still just a candidate at the time, reaffirmed the meaning of the phrase "ironic hypocrisy" by one day condemning an Indiana-born judge with a "Mexican-sounding name" while celebrating Cinco de Mayo by eating a taco bowl to prove he loves "the Mexicans."
Trump also refused to release his tax returns (and still has not done so), the Brexit vote allowed the UK to leave the EU (and still has not done so), Fox's Roger Ailes was sued for sexual harassment by Gretchen Carlson (thankfully she never "did" him) and the Republican National Convention began with Melania Trump flagrantly plagiarizing Michelle Obama.
The world lost Muhammad Ali, Happy Valley lost Tommy Landauer and Beaver Creek announced plans to charge for parking in the Elk and Bear lots in order to ride their "free" buses.
The USA kicked absolute tail at the Olympics down in Brazil and Vail Resorts bought Whistler up in Canada.
Our beautiful fall foliage was sadly shrouded with election nonsense 24/7, with no amount of common sense or fact-finding allowed to get in the way of most people's thinking. In fact, social media, and its multitude of nonsensical opinions based upon fact-free information, ruled the digital airwaves like never before.
With a bombastic insecure showman winning the presidential election, religious leaders chose to ignore his multiple wives and bankruptcies, infatuation with Putin and Goldman Sachs and reversals on campaign promises to declare him their particular version of a new Messiah to help usher in the Apocalypse so we can all die and live happily ever after.
Like I said — nonsense based upon fact-free information.
We also lost the "L" in ELP when Greg Lake passed followed just two days ago by Wham! former heartthrob and public loo aficionado George Michael.
But as 2016 comes to an end, the snow finally arrived, the ski mountain opened, the holidays are here and most of us are healthy, happy and can at least pay rent.
Here's to hoping for more of the same in 2017.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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