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Vail Daily column: The mountain’s closed — now what?

Well, the mountain’s closed, so what the heck do we do now?

There is a chance for snow and/or rain for each of the next 10 days. Of course there is. So golf is out of the picture for a bit, which certainly limits my options.

No hiking yet, unless you drive west for a while first. And so much for the annual trek to Hanging Lake, thanks to the artistic dwiddles of a few dopes with spray cans.

We could all get together and watch the snow melt, but that would only be fun if we could do it from a bar, and most of the slopeside ones are closed for a few weeks.

We could watch construction on the Interstate 70 underpass, but there aren’t any bars within viewing range.

We could simply find an open bar and collectively contemplate if this is our final mud season before war with North Korea and/or Syria, or now that the playoffs are over, and even though Le Pen is unabashedly un-American, will the American far right help her defeat Macron in the French finals?

Or perhaps we could discuss the racist, sexist pig known as Bill O’Reilly and his departure from the Clinton version of a 24-hour news channel known as Fox News (Don’t ask, don’t tell).

Or debate which proclamation President Trump will reverse next or whether or not he accidentally turned the swamp spigot to “Fill” instead of pulling the drain plug.

Or maybe just keep it local and all of us smile at Vail Resorts finally getting some real competition in the ski industry.

Don’t forget, competition is good in a capitalistic society.

What else? (I’m asking myself rhetorically at this point).

Single guys can enter the contest for a date with Lindsey Vonn or Michaela Shiffrin.

You could drive west to the University of California campus in Berkeley to watch college students using their First Amendment right to protest free speech.

While loving Golden Peak as much as anyone, we could debate the impacts of cutting down 42 acres of yellow gold to allow more white gold to take its place.

Personally, this week I’ll probably change the water in the hot tub, binge watch something on Netflix and play a video game.

Yes, I have actual work to do but it doesn’t take very long.

For fun I will slowly scroll through the “Do You Remember?” website and reminisce about my childhood.

I was hoping to work on a column discussing responses to last week’s question where I asked readers to defend Trump’s flip-flops on major issues such as the wall, NATO, Syria, Goldman Sachs, Obamacare, etc., but I only received one attempted defense. As well-intended as the reader was, instead of defending anything I asked about they listed Trump’s business experience and the fact that he is not a lawyer as their reason for supporting him.

The lack of defensible answers speaks volumes.

Oh, and about that contest to win a date with Lindsey Vonn or Michaela Shiffrin: don’t worry, girls can enter too, but then again, there is no actual contest.

This is what mud season does to us — it forces locals to make stuff up just to keep ourselves entertained until the snow melts and we can hop on our bikes, grab our backpacks, tents, golf clubs, tennis rackets, fishing poles and whatever else we need until the snow starts flying again.

I can’t wait.

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