Vail Daily column: Trump will so make America great again
Yes, Donald Trump is a thin-skinned whiny little racist bigot incapable of actual support for anyone not named Trump.
Sure, he’s Sarah Palin with man parts and the two compete weekly for the “Dumbest Tweet of the Week” Award.
Of course he speaks and handles criticism like a third-grader, flounders under the least amount of pressure, is a political facade existing purely for entertainments sake and is presidential material like Wolcott is home to a club for overpriced and oversized boats.
But what he is doing will indeed help America.
Yes, he makes the same promises as every Republican candidate (and Democrat) for president since 1980, which sadly means the words are not worth the electronic space taken up by the teleprompter.
He says what he means and means what he says, doubles down when it’s fabricated nonsense, and then says he “didn’t mean it THAT way.”
And yes, it’s not the size of his hands, but his incredibly large feet that he keeps cramming into his mouth that worry me.
The clown is summed up best by political satirist, Matt Terzi: “Donald Trump is the worst kind of idiot there is: a dangerous one. He’s a short-fingered trust-fund baby with a comically absurd hairdo, hell-bent on becoming the president for personal gain, and he’s willing to say whatever stupid people want to hear in order to achieve that goal.”
But here is why the Trump campaign has, perhaps unknowingly or unwittingly, performed actions that will make America greater in the long run: it has exposed the national American election process for the sham that it really is.
Note that I say “national” as opposed to state and local elections, as I will cover these in a few weeks (Thanks, Teak Simonton).
But his campaign has proven to the American public — the part with an IQ somewhere far north of 50 shades of gray — that the remaining southern shades are woefully ignorant of how a government train continues to roll down a particular set of tracks.
Trump has actually helped all of us realize the depth of corrosion and tit-for-tat political corruption that engulfs our national system by proving that even a narcissistic and insecure con-man with zero qualifications for an upper-tier public office can come terrifyingly close to getting the nuclear codes.
This realization alone will help make America a little bit better.
Other positives include his proving that the road to the White House can be navigated even when covered in mud, he almost single-handedly prevented Ted Cruz from becoming president, and has provided the mentally ill with someone to look up to besides imaginary friends.
Trump will never be president, of course, and while America has always been great, she can always be better by learning from her mistakes, so hopefully our two major political parties will study the blunders which allowed their constituents to nominate such sad and unworthy candidates for this November.
Sure, to paraphrase the clown, everything I just said could possibly be sarcasm, or every word is as sincere as Michael Phelps saying he’ll never compete again.
Only time will tell, but we’re the ones making the big decisions with our votes in the meantime.
Richard Carnes, of Edwards, writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.