"Nanny nanny boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo’
It’s spring. The groundhogs are humping, there are birds in the trees and little Johnny’s in the yard playing catch with dad.
Growing up in Oklahoma, this sort of thing happened much earlier in the year, and it always marked a milestone of mentality. There has always been something about the seasons that has dictated the nature of my competitiveness. Spring has traditionally been my most immature and stubborn phase of the year.
In the summer, I usually find myself playing a lackadaisical game of softball; it being too hot to truly care about anything but the many forms of water – female saliva included.
In the fall, I might kick a melancholy soccer ball around with the intent of scoring some goals, but the academic calendar is eternally ingrained in my head, so I spend more of my time with a book or cursing at a television screen displaying some form of football.
The winter brings a form of self-inflicted competition that shouldn’t be allowed into the team sports arenas.
“Good lord it’s cold and miserable. I think I’ll hurl myself down a mountainside at insane speeds.”
So it’s spring and I managed to spend my girlfriend’s gratuities on various forms of balls and other devices with which to strike them. I have a new basketball, dozens of golf balls, some frisbees, I’ve got my eye on a a couple of softball bats and a putter and I knew I had the fever when I tried on a pair of rollerblades at Gart Sports the other day – I’ve never really enjoyed rollerblading.
Anyway, I don’t know whether it’s healthy, but when the Vail Daily’s new photographer, Shane Macomber, goadingly states that he does not like baseball, it doesn’t bother me … I can hit the ball further.
Andrew Harley can be reached at (970) 949-0555, ext.610, or at firstname.lastname@example.org.