Skieologians: Risen from the dead
After a two-year pandemic, our world is in need of a few rebirths
Our family’s new Easter tradition was — and I’m not making this up — my wife’s idea.
The blank expression on my face at dinner, attempting to process my Minnesota Timberwolves’ first NBA playoff win since the Truman administration was the first clue. My tip-toeing around the house afterward, unsure of how my desire for a Sunday morning crust ski could theologically gel with an Easter church service, gave her an opportunity.
“Honey, let’s wake up at 6 a.m. and do a sunrise ski!” she lobbed in my direction.
I almost choked up a chunk of dark chocolate rabbit into my eager dog’s waiting mouth. What kind of preposterous demonstration of selflessness was this? Doesn’t she know it’s 2022? I tried to think of how I was supposed to be offended by her suggestion.
“How dare she?!” read my mind’s script as I continued my Easter candy raid and delayed a response.
While her responsibilities for Easter morning basically ended at coordinating our 7-month-old daughter’s feeding schedule with baking our contribution to brunch and filing our taxes … and solving world peace — all before 8 a.m. — I still needed to decide what color spandex would go best with my Seder-Skier.com shirt. The nerve.
“That’s a great idea,” I said, my enthusiasm about as subtle as the Mount St. Helens on the morning of March 16, 1980. My wife likes skiing, but she’s not obsessed. She was doing this for me.
Easter is all about one thing: Resurrection from the dead. The last two years have put to death some elements of our society that in my opinion deserve a second shot — and don’t worry, I’m not going to be calling for a rebirth of certain Twitter accounts. I’ll stick to sports and culture revivals for the most part, starting with my wife’s example of unselfish affection:
Thinking of others: We all learned it in kindergarten and most of us stopped by second grade. People need to go back to showing true love, which begins with considering the needs of someone else over your own.
Don’t make everything political: Speaking of my Wolves — their last two games have been interrupted due to animal rights protesters. I’m fine with people standing up for their beliefs, but I’m starting to fatigue from sports as the chosen arena. I respectfully wonder if there is a better space. Though I regularly pause and consider transcendent values inherent to sports, even this writer tires of the non-athletic related drama laced into every ESPN headline. I don’t think the generic fan is hoping to be thrust into a potential argument every time they turn a game on.
Americans would do well to unite around their pastime this summer. No matter what you believe or which party you voted for, I think we can all agree the Minnesota Twins are due for a title run.
Reasonable fuel prices: I know, and after I just said to not make everything political. But I’m dying for some fun hikes and bikes in the San Juans and if it costs $750 dollars to drive the van all the way to Ouray, how will I have any money left over for snacks?
Engaged prep student sections: “Engaged” does not mean scrolling through Instagram. Live it up kiddos — you only get one chance at leading the “he’s a freshman!” cheer. Unless, of course, you flunk Algebra II. That brings me to my fifth point.
Trying: In a lot of sectors — sports, school, the Dollar Store checkout counter — the pandemic paved a way for all of us to mysteriously feel entitled to a handout (literally) or free pass (or extra seven hall passes) on being less than our best. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time we step back up to the plate and give 100% effort as we practice going left, analyze “Waiting for Godot” or stock the grocery shelves. This country’s dignity is at stake. Speaking of the nation…
Make U.S. skiing great again: Mikaela is back on top for the first time since before COVID and River is climbing the ranks. Here’s to hoping they put the stars and stripes back where they should be on the international Alpine stage. And for the rest of us mere mortals riding Vail or skinning into backcountry bowls — think about inviting a newbie next time you hit the hill. Everyone deserves a chance to ski …
… especially if it is your wife’s idea.