The Broncos schedule is out and here’s how it goes
Survey says ... 6-10
Denver Broncos 2019
Sept. 9 at Oakland, 8:20 p.m.
Sept. 15 Chicago, 2:25 p.m.
Sept. 22 at Green Bay, 11 a.m.
Sept. 29 Jacksonville, 2:25 p.m.
Oct. 6 at Los Angeles Chargers, 2:05 p.m.
Oct. 13 Tennessee, 2:25 p.m.
Oct. 17 Kansas City, 6:20 p.m.
Oct. 27 at Indianapolis, 2:25 p.m.
Nov. 3 Cleveland, 2:25 p.m.
Nov. 10 BYE
Nov. 17 at Minnesota, 11 a.m.
Nov. 24 at Buffalo, 11 a.m.
Dec. 1 Los Angeles Chargers, 2:25 p.m.
Dec. 8 at Houston, 11 a.m.
Dec. 15 at Kansas City, 11 a.m.
Dec. 21 or 22 Detroit, TBD
Dec. 29 Oakland, 2:25 p.m.
The new phone books are here.
Happy 2019 NFL Schedule Release Day. When did this become a thing? Yet who are we to argue with the media goliath that is the NFL? But like all God-fearing Denver Broncos fans, we must go over it.
The Broncos presumably make their final appearance in Oakland before the Raiders move to Vegas. Who knows what the Raiders are going to look like after multiple first-round picks in the NFL Draft and the addition of Antonio Brown?
They’ll probably still look like the Raiders, and Joe Flacco will look good in his Broncos’ debut, Denver will win and we’ll all think, “This. Is. The. Year.”
Also: Steelers at Patriots in The Missing Bowl … The Rob Gronkowski-less Patriots should be fine against the Steelers sans Brown and Le’Veon Bell.
The Vic Fangio Bowl as the Broncos host the Bears in the home opener. On paper, the Bears are the favorite, but the Broncos always start well, especially at Broncos Stadium at Mile High — no corporate sponsor has stepped in for the defunct Sports Authority.
The Broncos upset the Bears and everyone’s on the bandwagon.
Also: Saints at Rams … They’re probably going to call pass interference once or twice.
The Broncos head to — insert the John Facenda voice — the (not-so) frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. Delivering the cogent sports analysis you’d expect, the Broncos don’t win in Green Bay against a healthy Aaron Rodgers
Seriously the Broncos’ front seven is good, but the “No Fly Zone” is gone.
Also: Bengals at Bills … Will both teams be already mathematically eliminated?
The Jaguars and Nick Foles come to town. I like the concept of the Jags, a good defensive team that smashes you in the mouth. That’s football. But the NFL requires a quarterback, and neither Jacksonville nor Denver have one. Saint Nick had his moments in Philly, but there’s a reason he’s not the No. 1 guy.
The Broncos go to 3-1.
Also: Cowboys at Saints … Hey, it’s an opportunity to see the Cowboys lose. That’s always good.
I still don’t know why the Chargers are in Los Angeles, but at least they’re wearing the powder blues. And Broncos fans will see those powder blues running all over their team.
Also: Ravens at Steelers … Does this end in 0-0 tie?
Marcus Mariota and the Tennessee Titans come calling. While the Titans aren’t overly impressive, Denver offensive lineman Garett Bolles gets called for holding seven times and the Broncos lose.
Also: Falcons at Cardinals … Having been drafted by Arizona, Oklahoma’s Kyler Murray retires from baseball and returns to the Oakland A’s.
It’s Thursday Night Football with Kansas City at Denver. Patrick Mahomes does whatever he wants and the Broncos drop to 3-4. The Flacco Honeymoon is over.
Also: Dolphins at Bills … Are the Fish tanking to get Tua Tagovailoa? We might know after this one. Meanwhile, the Bills aren’t trying to tank. They’re just the Bills.
Andrew Luck and the Colts visit the luckless Broncos and it’s starting to get ugly as Bolles stops holding and lets Indy just sack Flacco. Broncos fans demand that Washington return Case Keenum.
Also: Packers at Chiefs … Take the over.
The good news? Karim Hunt isn’t eligible to return until Week 10. The bad news? The Browns are decent enough to beat the Broncos.
Bigger question? How good will the Browns be? Seeing the Browns go from 0-16 in 2017 to playoffs in 2019 would be cool, but it’s a stretch. That said, the AFC North is dreadful.
Also: Packers at Chargers … Good game, but it’s also going to be amusing seeing a Chargers’ home game overrun by cheeseheads.
During the bye week, Broncos general manager John Elway insists the 3-6 Broncos can make a playoff run. He gives the team a pep talk before their game at Minnesota. The Vikings trounce the Broncos and Flacco, out of habit, just throws the ball to the guys in the purple uniforms.
Also: Patriots at Eagles … One team is going to the Super Bowl and it ain’t the Eagles.
The Broncos surge to 4-7 with a win at Buffalo. Wow. Elway is printing wild-card T-shirts.
Also: Packers at 49ers … San Francisco could be a wild-card team this year. Just saying.
The Broncos one-game winning streak ends with a loss to the Chargers. Out of habit, Elway fires Vance Joseph, even though his former coach was with the Arizona Cardinals, who have already fired Joseph as their defensive coordinator.
Also: Bears at Lions, Bills at Cowboys and Saints at Falcons are the Thanksgiving games. Did Jerry Jones bribe Roger Goodell?
The Broncos accidentally show up at the Houston Astrodome to play the Texans and forfeit the game.
Also: Chiefs at Patriots … Even though he’s retired, Gronkowski draws an unnecessary roughness penalty during the Patriots’ game-winning drive.
The Chiefs bludgeon the Broncos at Arrowhead. Fun fact: Since their Super Bowl season in 2015, the Broncos are 8-16 on the road.
Also: Dolphins at Giants … The ultimate Tua Bowl?
Detroit stems the Broncos’ bloodbath because they are the Lions. Elway notes that if three AFC teams are collectively hit by falling comets, the Broncos could still make the playoffs at 5-10.
Also: Steelers at Jets … Le’Veon Bell just realizes his mistake and reports to the visiting locker room.
The Broncos finish their majestic campaign with a win over the Raiders to go 6-10. Elway fires everybody and still gets a five-year extension.
Also: Dolphins at Patriots … While the game is in the Boston area, Patriots owner Robert Kraft flies to Florida anyway.