Carnes: D-Day for Avon’s B.A.R.N. | VailDaily.com

Carnes: D-Day for Avon’s B.A.R.N.

It is here.

The moment we’ve all been waiting for.

The ultimate, life-changing decision most of us never knew even existed until a few months ago when we discovered it was a completely unexpected major issue.

While I wish I was referring to the Game of DC Thrones finale last week, this has nothing to do with Bill Barr’s Cliff Notes and everything to do with the Town of Avon Survey Test (TOAST) over the Hahnewald Barn.

Deadline for returning surveys is Tuesday at 5 p.m. over at town hall, and hopefully the full results will be announced at Tuesday’s meeting.

Someone asked me the other day (in a barn without the “n” — OK, it was in a bar…) if I was “tired of writing about the damn barn all the time.”

In a word: no.

In a bunch of other words, nowhere near as tired as I am of writing about Dear Leader and his mindless little sycophant followers, and besides, it’s fun to write about local issues that pop up to rile the local masses every few months.

Part of me wishes it would happen more often, but that’s kind of selfish, and I try not to be that way most of the time.

Anyway, I applaud the civility across the board from those on both sides of the fence (barn, whatever…), and especially whoever was responsible for printing and placing the “Fund Avon’s Future — Not a barn” signs along with a few variations all over town.

Same for Councilwoman Amy Phillips. Although I’m sure other councilmembers have been doing their part, Amy is the only member of the council that I saw repeatedly and publicly standing her ground in support of the barn. And she did so, at least on social media, without once resorting to name-calling or other pointless attacks against those she disagrees with.

So what will the results be Tuesday night?

Don’t ask me, but if I were a betting man I’d put a good chunk down on the “NO” vote count being quite a bit higher than the “YES” numbers.

If it’s close, like say a 51 percent “NO” and 49 percent “YES,” it will certainly be entertaining to see how our elected officials handle that one.

I see the vote as having two distinct B.A.R.N outcomes: “Behold Avon’s Respect Now!” or “Because Avon Respects Nobody!”

Failing by a slim margin could result in a Dear Leader-styled approach: “If at first you don’t succeed, immediately come up with a few really good excuses and then do what you wanted to do in the first place regardless of the consequences.”

If this happens one can only imagine the exonerated shouts of, “We’re councilmembers and you’re not!”

However, if it passes by a slim margin, I absolutely guarantee there will be some demanding full disclosure (without redactions!) and a recount, others demanding a recall, and the rest saying, “Crap, the season’s almost over.”

By that point I will happily be in the crappers camp.

Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at poor@vail.net.