Vail Relationships column: 14 lessons life teaches us
Of the many lessons life teaches, here are the ones I am most sure of:
If you don’t try and try again, then you are way less likely to succeed. Perseverance has everything to do with success. You will be far more likely to succeed if you don’t give up.
If you give up, don’t try or when you act half-hearted, then you defeat yourself. Whether it’s the attractive stranger you don’t pursue, or the opportunity you don’t take because you’re afraid of failing, not pursuing your goals guarantees disappointment and defeat.
Any substance you overuse controls you.
Nature is regenerative. Be outside more.
It’s the risks you don’t take that you’ll regret later on.
When you quit trying in a relationship, as most people do, the closeness and connection will deteriorate.
Finding purpose in your life and in your day-to-day activities is one of the keys to feeling contentment. To find a greater sense of purpose, make a list of everything you would like to experience, accomplish or try before you die. Then figure out how to make those wishes and dreams come true.
Don’t fritter away so much of your time. Quit spending so much time pursuing trivial things that don’t really matter in the long run.
When something bad happens to you, you must be able to regulate your emotions so that you do not allow negative events to define you — or your outlook toward the future.
It’s more important than you think to take good physical care of yourself. That includes eating healthy, exercising, going for medical checkups and doing self-care activities that feed your mind, body, emotions and your spirit.
Being able to hear someone else’s hurt or displeasure without responding with anger, revenge, mistrust, withdrawal or defensiveness–is a vital key in compatibly getting along with others.
Act with honor, honesty, decency and integrity in your dealings with the world and with other people. If you don’t, then you will always feel like you’re a fraud.
Whatever you can do to repair a relationship, or whatever you can do to love more fully—do it. In the end, it’s your relationships that matter the most in life and that will ultimately bring you the greatest sense of fulfillment and contentment.
I’d rather be over the hill than inside the hill.
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Westminster and Boulder. He is the author of the bestselling book “Love, Sex, and Staying Warm: Creating a Vital Relationship.” Contact him at 303-758-8777 or visit neilrosenthal.com.