The conversation challenge

The holidays are here and so are the numerous parties that go along with the territory. The other night I found myself in the first of many painful small-talk conversations. You know the kind: “So, tell me, what is it that you do?” spoken in a voice you hope makes you sound like you’re really interested in the answer. If orchestrated properly, you and your partner in conversation can rally back and forth, asking these generic questions until you finally find something of common interest, which will then launch you into a somewhat more genuine dialogue. Now I don’t know about you, but I thought that everyone knew about how this exchange was supposed to go down. Someone asks you a question, you answer and then shoot one back at them.So there I am at a pre-Thanksgiving party, meeting a bunch of new people. Finding myself in a situation where I normally excel, I confidently threw it into auto-pilot and tossed out one of my stock questions. Thinking that I had a few minutes to sit back and relax as he answered, I was shocked when I heard the conversation-stopping, one-word-answer. This guy had clearly missed Conversation 101 either that or he was testing my skills and endurance.I was up for the challenge. Jumping into action, I launched another question back at him. Again, a one-word answer.Now I’ve got about 10 standard questions in my back pocket at all times, but what I was wondering was if he could continue to answer each of them with only one word. And certainly he had to be just a bit interested in me and would want to find out something more about some aspect of my life, right?Wrong. Not one lousy question back. As I neared the end of my questions, I faced a decision. I could either try to shock him into talking by asking him something outlandish or I could surrender, leaving the situation to fill up my glass with a much-needed drink. Although I would undoubtedly receive some joy from watching his reaction to my absurd, off-color question, I decided to surrender.I hate to think that I was defeated in an area where I have always succeeded. Instead, I choose to see it as preserving myself for someone who is truly worthy of my conversation. Normally, I see this as a game. It’s a fun little challenge that I usually am able to overcome. Granted, it’s a bit tiring but I do go home with a feeling of accomplishment after getting a 10-minute conversation out of someone who is clearly socially handicapped. However, I’ve learned through the years that sometimes it’s best to just cut your losses and move on before you’re completely socially drained. You never know, the next conversation I strike up could be with the guy of my dreams, so I certainly don’t want to be all tapped out!As I drove home that night, I did wonder one thing. Had that guy ever given back to a conversation? And if not, which is where I would place my bets, is he selfish in other aspects of his life as well or is he just the worst conversationalist of all time?Crystal Clear is a socially savvy Vail native who would enjoy hearing your opinions and thoughts at crystalclearinvail@yahoo.com