Carnes: Columns like a box of chocolates
About to start week four of watching the snow melt.
My bride and I had pretty much concluded the world as we knew it was going to be better off when all this crap is said and done.
And then we binged-watched “Tiger King.”
Feeling like we needed to wash our eyes out with Purell after each episode, now all we can do is weep for our species. On the plus side, it does reinforce one’s stereotype of those from Oklahoma and Florida.
Just for grins, and out of sheer boredom I suppose, I visited Infowars.com. After almost three full seconds I backed away from the keyboard — slowly — and decided to clip my toenails instead.
I guess designer face masks are becoming a thing this week, so I can only assume “mask shaming” will be the next go-to response for those looking to vent at complete strangers.
Pffft, we use neck gaiters here in ski country anyway.
Finally watched “Parasite.” Why in the hell did that win Best Picture?
My wife and I dressed up for “Formal Friday,” which apparently is one more thing to accomplish on the long list of “Stuff To Look Forward To Each Week.” It broke up the repetitive monotony at our house, and was a good incentive to take a shower.
Our cat, the one that successfully performed last week’s amazing “Disappearing Mouse in the House” trick, now stands guard at the bathroom door every time I park upon the porcelain throne.
Can’t tell if she’s protecting me, or warning others of potential smells.
Speaking of deadly odors, I’ve spent my entire life under the umbrella of ignorance thinking my “poop don’t stink.” But as opposed to losing one’s sense of smell as a symptom of this annoying virus, I have a genetic disorder called “anosmia,” meaning I never had a sense of smell to begin with. Not that I have a choice, but at least that’s one symptom I can happily ignore.
I almost forgot to brush my teeth one day. Would be embarrassing if anyone knew.
Rob Katz’s letter on April 1 was one of the best April Fool’s Day jokes I’ve ever read.
Using social media, we were able to execute a puzzle exchange with friends, complete with masks, gloves and drop-offs in discreet locations reminiscent of highly suspicious drug deals.
Netflix and Amazon Prime are listing movies such as “Outbreak,” “Contagion,” “Pandemic,” “Carriers,” etc. as top-bingers right now. Who, or a better question is why, in the world is anyone watching these?
Isn’t reality disturbing enough?
Finally found time to catch the last two “Star Wars” films. Watching the news, I can’t help but feel a large disturbance in the force right now. Not so much around here, but reminds me daily of why we live a mile and half above sea level and urban environments.
As to the Battle Mountain High School field being used daily by groups of presumed students, we watched “Forrest Gump” the other night for the first time in decades.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Richard Carnes, of Avon, writes weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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