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Norton: Getting out of our own way

In the competition of life, whether at home, work, or in the pursuit of personal dreams, there’s one adversary we often fail to recognize: ourselves. Too often, we unknowingly become our own most significant competitor. This isn’t because of a lack of ambition or effort but because we allow self-doubt, fear and negativity, what many refer to as “head trash,” to cloud our judgment, blocking our progress. Recognizing this tendency is the first step to getting out of our own way and unlocking our full potential.

The voices in our heads are powerful, and when those voices are negative, they can be debilitating. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never measure up,” or “Why even bother?” can sabotage even our best efforts before we start. In addition to our internal critics, we’re often surrounded by external negativity, voices of doubt, cynicism and criticism from people around us. This negative “surround sound” can reinforce the belief that we’re destined to fail.

This is why developing and maintaining a healthy self-image is crucial. How others see us pales in comparison to how we see ourselves. If we don’t believe in our abilities, how can we expect others to? A healthy self-image isn’t about arrogance or blind confidence — it’s about seeing ourselves honestly, embracing our unique strengths while acknowledging and working on our areas for growth.



To build and sustain this healthy self-image, it’s essential to surround ourselves with people who lift us up rather than pull us down. Seek mentors, coaches and peers who provide advice, encouragement and hope. These individuals don’t just cheer us on; they challenge us to think bigger, push harder, and strive for our goals, reminding us of what’s possible when tempted to settle for less.

Equally important is eliminating the sources of negativity in our lives. Whether it’s a toxic colleague, a critical family member, or an unproductive habit like doom-scrolling social media, these influences can drain our energy and erode our confidence. It’s not always easy to set boundaries or let go of relationships, but doing so can be transformative. The less time we spend defending ourselves against negativity, the more energy we have to invest in growth and success.

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In life, competition is inevitable. We face it in sports, business and even our personal goals. When approached with the right mindset, competition can be a powerful motivator. It pushes us to go beyond our perceived limits, stretch our capabilities, and achieve what we once thought impossible. This is the essence of a healthy competitive spirit; it thrives on abundance, where we believe there’s enough success and opportunity for everyone.

However, competition can become harmful when viewed through a lens of scarcity. A scarcity mindset whispers that someone else’s success diminishes our chances. It convinces us that the effort isn’t worth it, that the climb isn’t worth the view. This mindset doesn’t just hold us back — it gives power to our insecurities, further feeding the cycle of self-sabotage.

The key to breaking free is to stop competing with ourselves. Instead of listening to the inner critic, we must focus on what’s possible. Imagine what could happen if we stopped seeing obstacles and started seeing opportunities. When we get out of our own way, we remove the self-imposed limits that keep us stuck in our comfort zones.

What I am suggesting here is embracing growth. Each challenge becomes a stepping stone, each setback a lesson, and each success a reminder of what we’re capable of. With a healthy self-image rooted in abundance, we become unstoppable, ready to face every challenge, achieve every dream, and free ourselves from self-limiting beliefs.

The only thing standing between you and your potential is you. Recognize the power of your thoughts, surround yourself with the right people, and embrace a mindset of abundance. When you do, you’ll not only stop being your own worst enemy; you’ll become your greatest ally.

I would love to hear your story about how you will let the best version of yourself take center stage at gotonorton@gmail.com. When we realize that the climb is always worth the view, it really will be a better-than-good life.

Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.


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