Norton: In search of love, the greatest gift of all
As we come to the close of the Advent season, we arrive at its final theme: love. If you have read the previous columns on hope, peace, and joy, you will recognize the unifying thread, “In search of.” That phrase was chosen intentionally. I initially considered using the word search because it captures something deeply human: we often see and hear many things, yet still miss what is right in front of us.
Think about the energy and passion we bring to searching the internet, recipes, health symptoms, breaking news, and sports scores. Imagine if we invested even a fraction of that same effort into seeking hope, practicing peace, choosing joy, and embracing love fully. I believe we would discover far more reasons to hope, clearer ways to be peacemakers, deeper sources of joy, and a richer awareness of the love that already surrounds us.
When we speak of love during Advent, we are talking about far more than eros, or romantic love. Advent invites us into a broader, deeper understanding. There is phileo love, brotherly love, the love of the soul. There is agape love, which is selfless, sacrificial, and parental, often considered the strongest form of all. And there is storge, a quieter, less discussed love, yet no less powerful: the love of family, community, and belonging.
In a world marked by deep divisions, conflicting beliefs, and strong opinions, it can be tempting to give up on love altogether. The chasm can feel too wide. But as we conclude this Advent journey, my recommendation, my strong recommendation, is simple and unwavering: we must remain in search of love.
Love, in all its forms, shapes how we see ourselves and how we see others. When we learn to love ourselves and accept the unconditional love offered by God, we become capable of truly loving others, romantically, fraternally, parentally, and within our families and communities. And when we lean into the true meaning of love, we quickly realize that love must be unconditional.
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Some may claim that certain people are unlovable. That could not be further from the truth. Everyone is lovable. No exceptions. No qualifiers. We can disagree with someone’s opinions, actions, or words, but disagreement does not negate their worthiness of love. In fact, those who appear most unlovable are often those who are hurting the most. And as we know, hurt people hurt people.
Love also shows up in moments that require discipline. Before discipline can ever be effective, expectations must be clear. Everyone must know the rules. But rules without love, or discipline without love, lead to rebellion. This is where tough love enters the conversation.
Loving someone does not mean ignoring their mistakes or telling them only what they want to hear. True love is having the courage to say what needs to be said, even when it is uncomfortable. Turning a blind eye or remaining silent may feel easier in the moment, but it ultimately causes more harm than good. When we lead with love, using the right tone, the right intention, and compassionate body language, hard conversations often become meaningful, productive, and even healing.
We would all do well to remember this … love wins. In an argument … love wins. In heated moments … love wins. When leading our family … love wins. In leading a team … love wins. And as we are reminded in 1 Corinthians 13:8, “Love never fails.”
And staying with 1 Corinthians, we see this in verse 13:13, “And now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
So let me ask you: are you anchored and rooted in love?
I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. And when we truly search for hope, peace, joy, and love, we will find them all. That is what makes for a better-than-good life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
