Norton: It’s a lighthouse, not a dark house
One of the great perks of being a grandfather is that you get asked questions no executive committee would ever think to raise.
This week, my six-year-old grandson was in my office. Behind my desk sit several books about the ocean and a handful of lighthouse collectibles I’ve gathered over the years. He pointed to one of the books and asked, “What’s that, Pops?”
“It’s a book about lighthouses,” I told him, pulling it down to show him the pictures.
He quickly spotted one of the figurines on the shelf. “That’s a lighthouse too!” he declared, quite proud of himself. (He was right, which I’ve learned is an important thing to acknowledge when you’re six.)
Then came the follow-up.
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“What does a lighthouse do?”
I gave him the short version: “A lighthouse has one main job, to keep boats from crashing.”
That answer might work in a boardroom. It does not satisfy a first grader.
“How does it keep them from crashing?”
Now we were talking.
We sat together with the book open, and I explained that a lighthouse warns captains about danger, rocks, reefs, shallow water, and cliffs. It tells them, “Don’t come this way.” It also guides them toward the safe channel. And whether it’s calm or stormy, day or night, the lighthouse stands firm and keeps shining. It provides clarity and confidence when everything else feels uncertain.
He listened carefully.
Then he asked the question that stopped me in my tracks:
“Pops… is there such a thing as a dark house?”
I congratulated him on what might be the best question I’ve heard in a long time.
Kids have a way of doing that. They ask. And ask. And ask again. Somewhere along the way, as adults, we trade our curiosity for conclusions. We move from asking great questions to delivering confident statements. And in doing so, we often lose something powerful.
The most interesting people in any room aren’t the ones telling the longest stories. They’re the ones asking the best questions, listening closely, and then asking one more. Curiosity is a communication superpower, and children use it naturally.
But back to the “dark house.”
I told him, “No, buddy, there aren’t dark houses trying to make boats crash. The ocean already gets dark on its own, at night or during storms. That’s exactly why we need lighthouses.”
Darkness doesn’t get built.
It just happens when there’s no light.
And light is stronger.
So we ran an experiment, because no six-year-old believes a grandfather without proof. We turned off the lights in my office. It got dark.
Then I let him flip the switch.
The room filled with light.
He grinned and said, “Look, Pops. The dark didn’t even fight back. It just disappeared.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
There are a few lessons in this small moment.
First, treasure the questions of little children. There is gold in their curiosity. If we slow down enough to listen, we may learn more than we teach.
Second, it might be time to revive our own curiosity muscle. Ask more questions. Better questions. Listen longer. Assume less.
And finally, while there may not be “dark houses,” there are certainly dark moments in life. Storms come. Visibility drops. The rocks are real. But darkness never overpowers light. It only exists in the absence of it.
The solution to darkness isn’t more darkness.
It’s light.
Just like a lighthouse keeps boats from crashing by shining steadily, we can choose to be steady lights for the people around us, in our homes, our work, and our communities.
So here are a few questions worth considering:
Are you paying attention to the wisdom tucked inside the questions of your little ones? Have you let your curiosity grow quiet? And in the darker moments of life, are you flipping on the light?
I’d love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. Sometimes, when we heed the guidance of a six-year-old and rediscover our childlike curiosity, it just might lead us toward a better-than-good life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
